the recent Sydney Sweeney / eugenics dog whistling campaign is not only deeply stupid, but sadly, brought to mind my ill-fated attempt several years ago to revive Sears Roebuck’s once-vaunted Toughskins brand. An expensive-to-produce television commercial featuring adolescents declaring “we’ve got really average to below average jeans” had to be scrapped following legal action from Kent, OH Oi revivalists who’d since claimed the Toughskins name. Though this was not the first or last time I’ve run afoul of someone adjacent to the Wheelchair Full Of Old Men media empire, it was probably the most costly. 

 My advice to the owners of American Eagle is simple : change the name of the company to American Beagle (EVERYONE LIKES BEAGLES) and license the Toughskins’ “Oingo Boingo Ain’t Oi” for the resulting campaign. Everyone’s a winner (except for perhaps, Danny Elfman).