This Valentine’s day would you like a 15 mins summary on how to spark up your relationship by the best in the business?  (It’s not me:) I’m just the messenger).

Julie & John Gottman, considered the best relationship therapists in the world, changed the game by bringing in data to track relationships. They studied thousands of couples over 40 years, coded hours and hours of interactions, and created data based principles on what makes a happy marriage. 

Their latest book distils all their learnings into 7 prescriptions to rekindle a relationship. These are small things we can do everyday to deepen our bonds. 

Here’s one. 
You’re hanging with your partner in the living room. He’s on his kindle, you’re reading a magazine. Kids are asleep. It’s a lovely time in the day where you guys get to unwind. Your partner suddenly lights up - looks at you - and reads aloud this interesting quote you might like. You’re in the middle of your magazine article. 
You think - why’s he bothering me? Why can’t he give me 10 mins of peace?
Do you 

• Turn towards his bid for connection - wow, what a great quote
• Turn away - ignore
• Turn against - don’t irritate me. 

What you do is the single biggest predictor of happiness in a relationship. 

Just this one change - turning towards bids for connection - can reverse the slide of a relationship. Married couples do this 86% of the time. Divorced couples did this 33% of the time. 

It’s not big grand gestures but the small things we do everyday that determine how happy we will be in our relationship.  

This episode provides a 15 mins summary on their latest book. 

Related Episode
#017 Intimate Relationships, a conversation with Dr. Oberdan Marianetti

• Spotify: https://howtolive.life/ep17spotify 
• Apple Podcasts -  https://howtolive.life/ep17apple

Episode Shownotes
https://howtolive.life/episode/035-rekindling-romance

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