Parent Driven Development
Episode 036: Adoption
This episode will discuss the process of international adoption, the major changes that hit home, and future challenges adopting parents and children face00:28 Welcome, Kalimar
How long does it take to adopt a child internationally? It took Kalimar 2 ½-3 years!Kalimar and his wife have had their baby girl for 6 months, she is now 21 month oldHuge learning curve welcoming a child that already has mobility01:12 Why choose adoption?
Kalimar and his wife are 35+ and decided this was the right option for them01:39 What is process for international adoption?
Adoption ad in paper, an optionInternational adoption agencies is most common and safeInternational adoption requirements: Micro scale of state approval, social workers, background checks, reading, workshops, cultural events, then moving to federal approval then international country approval4:43 How hard is it to adopt a child? Is parenting easier or harder?
The paperwork is tough, but Kalimar says parenting is harder!Everyone and every book has a different advice on parentingKids don't come with instructions6:05 Challenges of being a new parent?
No more late nights because baby doesn’t sleep inThe need for more friendly activities with friends, luckily most of Kalimar's friends already have kids!Secret sledding hills that have mostly been kid only zones are now opened up to play at8:08 Experiencing everything with fresh eyes
KWU's son is full of excitement and the energy is contagiousKalimar's daughter eats spaghetti for the first time and its adorableNew toddlers like to explore their limits and gravity10:36 Things to consider when adopting a child
The challenges in adopting a newborn verse a toddlerKalimar had to baby proof before bringing his daughter homeThe danger kid zone within the house, everyone has one12:20 Are post adoption services and consultants available?
Yes! Massive support from adoption agency, trainings, workshops, other families and community membersWhy parenting classes are important and how biological parents should be put through parenting school just like adoption parentsFirst day with adopted child - the bumps, triumphs and everything in between15:23 How do you decide which agency or country to choose from?
First google agency, then attend an open house and adoption seminars, see who you mesh withFactor in expense of international adoption cost and timeline that it will take17:45 How do the adoption seminars prepare you?
Kalimar reflects on the self question of making it known that his daughter is adopted in daycare or notAdoption transition tips - understanding the child is going through HUGE emotional changesKalimar feels lucky his daughter is so adaptable How to talk about the adoption process with your child at the level they can understand.Open discussion is best, remove the tabooAdoptive parents do a whole lot of work and are totally the parents24:13 Top parent concerns, are they adoption based?
Kalimar worries about his daughter being treated as a minority, as he and his wife are caucasion and their daughter is Indian.Girl and dad relationship, other common worriesBecome a part of the local community of their daughters orginPros and cons of exposing your child to their origin country28:46 Genius / Fail moments
Chris stores old legos and toys in his attic until his friends with new babies need them. Out of the house and supporting a friend #parentingwinAllison gets crafty by using walkie-talkies to keep in touch with her 4-year-old son at her office HQ #geniusJC’s 10-year-old daughter is a total catch! She learns how to put in the work to improve her skills as her teams catcher. KWU’s son is repeating everything. She’s noted to watch her language, but proud that her son has picked up on her good habits and is mimicking new language.Kalimar temps his daughter back to the dinner table by making it look like the most delicious time ever!Kids continue to throw food on the ground... to learn reaction and explore new roles #fail Follow & Support
Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at [email protected].
Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.
Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.
Panel
JC Avena
Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
Special Guest: Kalimar Maia.
View all episodes
