Bert and Ernie were just a couple of confirmed bachelors that took baths...That isn't exactly the crux of Opening Audio but it is brought to you by the letter "T" today...Tortoise...A tornado came and swept away a family's pet tortoise and he was found 60 miles down the road...Turkey...A turkey went wild inside of a tool store and attacked people and destroyed the store...Tall...A Tinder date got a little silly when a 7ft tall woman showed up to a short man's house...He was mad at first but went for it...A man burned down a massage parlor...We tried to figure out why...It is obvious that it did not "end" happily...A woman was in a Walmart restroom when a peeping tom was peeking at her through the stall and making extremely bizarre licking sounds...More lanes are opening on I26 this morning...It is Tax Day and if you are a creamer, Krispy Kreme is offering a buy one get one for the price of sales tax...A health report came out about the residence of Gene Hackman and he was living amongst dead rats and mice...A 70 year old man wanted to spend an entire day just petting dogs in a park...It took us to Listener Court...Do pet owners want you to pet them?...We are learning that the Shaq-A-Roni comes out once a year at Papa Johns...We looked for one person that waits for it to come out every year...Well we found Craig...There was a nude elderly man running around Disneyland and climbing on all of their structures...A company named Wicked Wonderland is a company that for years has been selling human bones and they were finally caught on it...There is a rising number of teenagers and even people in their 20's that do not want to get their license and have no desire to drive...The video of the hit-and-run that led to the chaotic events that had the wife of one of the members of Weezer has been released...Jay-Z and Beyonce have been dropped from a Diddy lawsuit after they were proved to not be near Miami during the time of the claim...Spend some money at Dave's Dollar Bonanza after your time at the massage parlor and leave happy...We hope you leave happy after you listen to this Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!