We have a new Pontiff...Da Bears...To start your day off so we can get it out of the way on Opening Audio we need to play a sound for you...It's the sound of a man whose junk was bitten by a snake while he was sitting on a log...A mother said leave me the hell alone on Mother's Day...Forget brunch...She finds it to be a punishment...Our new Pope is an American! Sebastian Maniscalco actually said something funny for once when it comes to the Pope...He doesn't like that Popes change their names...There is a lot of drinking and drugging here on this Friday...First a bus driver who was driving a bus full of students from a catholic school was arrested for being three times over the legal limit...A man stole an 800lb historic cannon from a memorial and cut it down for scrap metal for drugs...There was a family that ate at the same sushi place weekly until their son got sick from the food and had to have his appendix removed...A Weaverville woman turned herself in for a hit and run...North Carolina schools had a big data breach...A mother had to pay her daughter $2,000 in damages after a TikTok prank of her cracking an egg on her forehead...Elmo is out of a job after budget cuts are taking away PBS...Maybe Elmo can go get a gig at Bojangles and slang those 2 for $5 country ham buttermilk biscuits...We got to listen to the 911 calls from the bear attack we talked about earlier in the week...Two Frontier Airline employees are going viral for not letting a man check-in because he arrived 30 minutes before his flight was about to take off...Our buddy Dave Hoyt called with his nightmare airport story that involved peanut butter...A man had a bear in his bees...A beekeeper got the big news story of the day after a bear stole one of his hives...Someone should tell the reporter his pink slip is coming...The Pope played Wordle and watched Conclave before he was elected...Bill Belichick's girlfriend has been banned from the football facilities at UNC...A woman backdoor nachoed her wife and fat shamed her...We would never shame you...Just check out this Friday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!