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[TRANSCRIPT]

[click, static]

I’ve been trying to think of a question to ask you, Birdie. It is my turn after all. But I’m coming up short.

[click, static]

It’s not that there aren’t a million and one things that I want to know. There’s too much. That’s part of the problem. The other problem is that...well, uh, I’ve never been good at small talk. I’ve never liked it all that much. That’s not to say I can’t do it or that every conversation I have needs to be deep and important and without a single wasted word —I mean, obviously that’s not true. But I guess what I mean is, I don’t know how to ask a question small enough that it’s answer can be contained in dots and dashes.

[click, static]

Is the answer to ask yes or no questions? Play the most elaborate game of twenty questions that doesn’t just go on for twenty questions, but goes on forever?

[click, static]

This is a strange kind of intimacy. You know so much about me—more than I likely would have ever told you had we met in person. I’ve never been in the habit of disclosing my profession or talking about my family to...anyone? There’s a space between small talk and telling someone anything personal and that’s the space I usually try to occupy.

And I know so little about you. But I’d like to think that what you’ve told me—or tried to tell me—has been significant. Whatever happened with your job is clearly important to you, or had some major negative affect on your life—and then you asking about my job got me thinking...

[click, static]

These things don’t matter anymore. The entire structure of our society is gone. So why is it still bothering you? There are things that still bother me, still keep me up at night, but not the fact that I used to steal art from rich people or expensive museums. I barely cared about the legality or morality of what I was doing while I was doing it, I certainly don’t give a shit now. I could go and steal the goddamn Mona Lisa and it wouldn’t matter.

So why do you care? What difference does any of it make? [click, static]

I guess that’s not really an easy question to answer succinctly. So let me put it in yes or no terms: do you think it still matters? Whatever you did before, whatever happened with it, does it still matter?

[click, static]

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