From the moment the desk walked into their lives, the party knew it was going to be trouble. But it had gorgeous hardware and a great set of legs. They couldn't resist trying to get in its drawer. So they made their move, with all the subtlety of a crowbar. And that's when everything went sideways.

Vons believes in the importance of hydration. Wealthy overspecializes. Aracyne pays it forward. Grickx acts as if all the world's a stage.

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