Every year, St. Merlinda’s hosts the annual fox hunt. It’s the school’s primary athletic event intended to discern the best from the best. The episode’s guest is one of the athletes, and, well, you can guess what he’s like.

Melody

Hello Manticores! My name is Melody Martin and I’m here to give you the deets on everything related to our beloved school. This week the school may feel a bit more beloved than most weeks now that the relief of having completed midterms has settled in. The school is also hosting an annual event that everyone looks forward to: the fox hunt.

Before anyone freaks out, no actual foxes are harmed during the course of the hunt. The hunt is based on the legend of the Teumessian fox, which is a gigantic fox that was destined to never be found. It was sent by Dionysus many years ago to prey on children as punishment for some crime no one actually knows. An insult to the gods, most likely – they tend not to like that.

Anyway, the fox preyed on the children of Thebes as part of the punishment. You might be wondering how the fox hurt humans if it was a full-blooded magical creature, in which case it shouldn’t have been able to interact in the human realm. The truth is that the human realm and magic realm used to be connected. Humans could interact with magical creatures and vice versa. That’s how our lineages began – without this type of interaction, humans and magical creatures would never have been able to have children together.

So, back to the story. The king of Thebes wanted to destroy the fox so it could no longer stalk his countryside, but how could he stop a fox that was destined to never be caught?

Conveniently, the king had previously received a gift from Zeus in the form of Laelaps, a female dog always destined to catch its prey. The king sent Laelaps after the Teumessian fox, which created a huge paradox that gave Zeus a headache. Zeus ended up turning the fox and hound into stars to prevent the paradox from continuing. Laelaps became what is known as Canis Major, while the Teumessian fox became Canis Minor.

To commemorate this story, the school hosts the annual fox hunt each year to replicate the hunt that took place between the Teumessian fox and Laelaps. The hunt takes place at night, when the stars depicting the creatures are most visible. Instead of using an actual fox, one of the instructors summons a fox of shadows to play the role. It blends into the dark night, making it almost impossible to catch. Teams of students take the role of Laelaps. The first to shatter the stone that rests in the heart of the shadow is declared the victor and gets trophies along with a pizza party. Yes, the faculty of a magical school still reward students with pizza parties. I’m not sure what else I expected.

Conversation throughout the school is focused on the hunt. There are six teams of five people that will be participating. The rest of us are invited to the forest to watch.

Oh, and before anyone brings up any safety concerns for the students: teams are required to use non-harmful methods of bringing down the fox. Arrows need to be rubber-tipped, swords need to be wooden, so on and so forth. Because the fox is made of shadows rather than flesh, the use of lethal weapons isn’t necessary.

Let’s see what the chatroom has to say about this.

Our first comment comes from Miracle Acheson. Miracle complains that because the fox in this hunt can be caught, it’s not a fair reenactment of the Teumessian fox.

I suppose that’s true, Miracle, but there’s not much we can do about it. It’s not like we can create paradoxes. That would be, without a doubt, a miracle. Get it? Because your name is Miracle?

Anyway, I think this event is meant for fun and team-building more than anything else, and I don’t really wish to stand outside all night trying to watch the teams catch their target. Our morning classes are cancelled to accommodate the event, but that doesn’t help if the fox isn’t caught until five in the morning. My hope is that the whole thing is over in a few hours. Besides, the days leading up to the event are almost more fun than the event itself, from what I’ve heard. It really reminds me of my old high school, where students got competitive about sports games. That’s something I miss here, although I’ve heard there are some sports leagues during the school year, so I’m looking forward to that.

The second question is actually another complaint, but one that I also think deserves a response. Karmela says the mention of sports has reminded her about St. Merlinda’s mandatory extracurricular policy. She wishes it was like her old school, where students weren’t forced to take extracurriculars.

I understand her view. My old school was the same way. I also hosted the radio there, but it was because I wanted to, not because I was forced to. I’m grateful there was a radio show here, because I’m not sure which extracurricular I’d prefer to do. There are only six available during the summer, aside from the school radio: swimming, cross country, combat, meditation, debate, and art. Every student has to take one of the seven electives. Probably because we’re a delinquent school and the staff want to keep us out of trouble.

It can be frustrating if you don’t like the available choices, but I’m personally not too bothered by it. You might expect me to be because of my whole crusade for personal rights earlier, but I view the forced extracurricular as nothing more than another class. You can expect to attend classes when you’re at school, so it doesn’t seem too intrusive to me. Thinking about it as an extra class might help you be more accepting of the idea. If not, hopefully an extracurricular will open during the school year that you’ll enjoy more than whatever you’re taking now.

Now, onto our interview portion. For today’s guest, I invited Hunter [redacted], a part-centaur who is in one of the teams competing tonight. Welcome, Hunter.

HUNTER

Hey.

MELODY

So, Hunter. How do you feel about tonight’s hunt? Are you ready?

HUNTER

Am I ready? I was BORN ready. I’m going to CRUSH EVERYONE.

MELODY

Everyone? What about your team?

HUNTER

They’re safe, I suppose.

MELODY

And the crowd? What about them?

HUNTER

You know what I meant. You’re really cramping my vibe.

MELODY

Sorry. So, how do you plan to catch the fox?

HUNTER

Look at me. I’ve got four legs, so I’ll be able to go way faster than the losers trying to beat me. But I also have two arms that I’ll use to shoot arrows at the fox. Or strangle anyway who gets in my way.

MELODY

You’re pretty confident you’ll win, then.

HUNTER

Duh. My name’s Hunter, and this is a hunt. It would be totally bogus if I didn’t win.

MELODY

What about your team? Do you think they’ll help you?

HUNTER

Help me get the others off my back, I guess. But the fox – that’s mine. No one’s going to stand in my way of getting it, not even my teammates.

MELODY

You seem very determined. Is there a reason why?

HUNTER

One year ago, my older brother Chase won the hunt. The year before that, my other brother Ryder did. But this has nothing to do with them. I’m going to win the hunt because I’m better than them. Because I’m better than all of you losers listening to this radio show.

MELODY

That’s not very nice.

HUNTER

I’m not going to win by being nice. I’m going to win by DOMINATING THE COMPETITION.

MELODY

At this point, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of embarassment if you lose.

HUNTER

I can’t lose! Hunter always wins the hunt!

MELODY

Yes, we’ve been over that. I get a feeling we’ve gotten the most we can get out of this interview.

HUNTER

Fine, I need to go anyway. I need to start warming up for the competition. No one’s going to stop me from winning, not a cramp, and not a girl cramping my vibe. I will be VICTORIOUS.

MELODY

Okay, thanks for being on the show. Bye.

Should I have wished him good luck? Probably. Honestly, though, I kind of want him to lose, if only to see how he reacts. And maybe out of a sense of vindication. You guys aren’t losers. None of us are. Sure, we might not be athletic enough, or stealthy enough, to participate in the hunt, but so what? Without the crowd, the competitors would…well, I guess they’d do the same thing, but still. We’re a major part of the event. So let’s get ready to head to the forest and have a great time. Until next week, good night, Manticores!