So you know how there’s some online radio hosts who promise they’re gonna take you on some kind of a “musical journey”, one where they don’t need a map?

I’m sure that sounds exciting to those of you with no imaginations or life experiences to speak of, but take it from someone that’s been around the block a few times. For starters, journeys suck (much like the band) and as much fun as tooling around sans a map sounds, invariably you end somewhere in the woods with no petrol. Before long, you’re greeted by a hulking individual who thinks your Stephon Marbury sneakers circa 2008 have some sort of life-force they must appropriate and next thing you know, you’re tied naked to a tree.

At least that’s how I remember it.

Anyhow, rest assured, I’VE GOT A ROADMAP. When you take a ride with me for two hours, I know EXACTLY where I’m going. To Footlocker. To replace those shoes.