Building ConnectionNow is the Right Time!
Your child’s early years are a time of incredible growth, and one of the most important foundations you can build is connection. By creating small, consistent moments of bonding, you’re strengthening your child’s sense of security and trust — key ingredients for healthy attachment and emotional well-being.
Connection is built through everyday interactions — from feeding and diaper changes to playtime and soothing moments. These small yet powerful moments help your child feel loved, safe, and cared for.
Five Steps for Building Connection with Your ChildStep 1: Get Your Child Engaged by Getting Their Input
Even though your child can’t yet speak, they are constantly communicating through facial expressions, body language, and sounds. By tuning in to their cues, you’re laying the groundwork for lifelong communication skills.
Notice their signals. Infants and very young children might show you what they need through eye contact, sounds, and movement. Pay attention to when they seem calm, excited, or overwhelmed.
Ask simple questions. Even though they can’t answer yet, your voice and tone help your child feel included and connected. Try asking:
● “Are you ready to play?”
● “Do you want to see what’s outside?”
● “Are you feeling sleepy?”
With your toddler, this might look like following what they are pointing at or what seems interesting to them. For example, when your toddler points and says ‘dat,’ you can respond, ‘Oh, you see the doggie! Yes, it’s a big doggie!’
Pause and wait. After you ask a question or speak, pause and give your child time to respond with a coo, smile, or movement. This teaches your child the rhythm of conversation.
Tip: When your child makes sounds, respond as if they’re speaking to you. This back-and-forth exchange builds early communication skills.Step 2: Teach Connection Through Simple, Everyday Moments
Children learn connection through repetition, routine, and warmth. Every interaction, feeding, diaper changes, or playtime, is an opportunity to strengthen your bond.
Create predictable routines. Children thrive on predictability. Try using the same words and gestures during key routines. For example:
● During diaper changes, say, “I’m here, you’re safe, let’s get you cozy again.”
● Before naps, sing a familiar lullaby or whisper soothing words.
Use touch as a teaching tool. Gentle touch like cuddling, rocking, or softly stroking their back, helps your child feel secure.
Name their feelings. Even at this early age, saying things like:
● “You’re feeling fussy right now. I’m here.”
● “I see you’re excited — look at that big smile!”
... helps your baby begin connecting emotions with words.
Mirror their emotions. When your baby smiles, smile back. If they’re upset, offer a calm expression and soothing words like “I know, sweetie. I’m right here.” This helps your child feel seen and understood.
Tip: Children are learning that their feelings are valid and that caregivers are there to help them feel safe and calm.Step 3: Practice to Grow Skills and Develop Connection Habits
Practicing moments of connection doesn’t require extra time — it’s about making small, intentional moments part of your daily routine.
Practice “serve and return.” When your child “serves” you a signal — a smile, coo, or reaching hand — “return” it with a warm response. For example:
● If your child babbles, respond with a joyful tone: “Oh yes! Tell me more!”
● If your child turns their head away, respect their need for space.
Toddlers may “serve” through words or actions like bringing you a toy. “Returning” can mean noticing and engaging with their curiosity
Build playful rituals. Simple games like peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake, or singing together are powerful ways to build connection. Play, even simple games like pretend cooking or building blocks, helps toddlers feel connected and understood. Join in by following their lead and naming what they’re doing.
Practice calm connection. Snuggling quietly, humming while rocking, or gently stroking your child’s hand during feeding are meaningful moments of bonding.
Tip: Repetition is key — small, consistent acts build long-term security.Step 4: Support Your Child’s Growth by Responding with Warmth and Patience
Infants and very young children are still learning how to manage their emotions. By responding to their cues with warmth and calmness, you’re modeling the kind of secure connection they’ll carry forward.
Soothe with presence. Sometimes your baby will cry no matter what you try. In these moments, staying calm and steady — even if you don’t know how to “fix” the crying — helps your baby learn that you are a safe, dependable presence.
Recognize “overload.” If your baby becomes overstimulated (fussy, turning away, or crying), create a calm environment:
● Lower your voice.
● Reduce background noise.
● Hold them quietly to help them reset.
Be patient with yourself. Building connection is about showing up consistently — not being perfect. Even when things feel frustrating, your presence is what matters most. If you miss a cue or feel disconnected, it’s never too late to reconnect. Saying, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t understand, I’m here now,’ teaches your child that relationships can be repaired.
Tip: Remind yourself: "I’m doing my best, and that’s enough."Step 5: Recognize and Celebrate Connection
Every small moment of bonding — from a shared smile to a quiet cuddle — is a powerful success. Celebrating these moments strengthens your confidence as a parent and helps you recognize the ways your child is already connecting with you.
Notice and name the moments you connect.
● “I love how you smile when I sing that song!”
● “You feel so calm when we rock together — I love these quiet moments.”
Celebrate your child’s growing trust. When your baby looks to you for comfort, smiles in response to your voice, or relaxes in your arms, they’re showing you that they feel connected and secure.
Tip: Building connection happens over time. Each small effort creates a stronger bond — and your baby will feel that love every day.Closing
Developing connection is the foundation of attachment and resilience. Your child’s first relationships lay the groundwork for their lifelong emotional health. By consistently showing warmth, responding to their cues, and making time for small moments of connection, you’re building a secure foundation of trust and love that will last a lifetime.
