Isn’t it interesting that we have these two sayings: “Birds of a feather flock together” and “opposites attract” but there never seems to be that happy medium.

We can compare ourselves to how we grew up, how our parents are, and look and see how similar or opposite we are. Again, we tend to either like it, or not… no happy medium. How do we change our story if we don’t like it?

How do you change the head games and generational behavior? Can you change the whole script if you don’t like it? Can you change failure and turn it into success? Let’s talk about how to do just that!

Heather has several examples of things she has done to change her story from things she didn’t like about herself, to things she succeeded in by changing her story. She notices a few key behaviors.

Found people who have done the things she was trying to do - teachers, coaches, etc

Found resources to help her learn, grow, and change - books, podcasts, articles

Look herself in the mirror and say “ok, why…? Will I blame this on someone else or did I own my weaknesses and failures? I am the only one who can change me.”

Practice and change!

Each of us have to go through the same process to change! Whether it’s trying to make your house function better or getting your kids to hang up their backpacks after school, there is knowledge out there to find, other moms you can talk to as a resource.

So when you are failing and you want to succeed, go through the same 4 steps:

Why are you failing?

Seek out other people who can guide you

Seek out resources

Do the work. It has to come from you!

One key part of being able to change your story is knowing where you came from. You have to know the history of where you’re coming from in order to see the deep seated behaviors you want to change. Recognition is a great way to answer the question “why am I failing?”

When we can identify what we don’t want to be, then we can start looking for who we want to be. It’s not enough to only identify what we don’t want because our focus will still be centered on the negatice. We need to be able to shift our focus to say “that’s what I want!” When our focus is in the right place we can make forward progress! Even if we slip and fall and fail, we are still on the right track to what we want.

When you identify where you want to be and start digging into resources and listening to mentors you may notice that you start hyper focusing on what you want to become and have a decreased desire to stop the behaviors you don’t like. Keep that train of thought in the front of your mind.

We’ve all heard the quote “you are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with the most.” Change who those people are. Find the mentors and human resources that can help you and support you.

The moral of the story is to know where you want to be, set the goals you need to get there, then find the tools and resources to help you succeed!

Action Steps:

Figure out where you want to go, who you want to be

Start collecting resources and information to help you

Find a role model to look up to

Take action! Even if you fail, it’s good action!

We don’t know your story, we don’t know where you’re coming from or even where you want to go… unless you tell us! We are here to support you and would love to be some of the mentors that will support you as you change your story!

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