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In this episode of The Foster Dad Directive, I go over a list of ten surprising things foster parents are not allowed to do, based on guidance from California and compared with my personal experience fostering in Michigan. I break down topics like not changing a child’s appearance without permission, not sharing their face or identity on social media, never using unapproved babysitters, and always getting proper authorization for medical decisions like vaccinations. I also explain why foster kids generally cannot be left home alone without proper supervision, why co-sleeping is discouraged due to safety and trauma concerns, and why foster parents cannot legally change a child’s name while the state remains the legal guardian. Throughout the episode, I stress the importance of getting everything in writing and always protecting yourself with documentation.

I also discuss restrictions around travel, privacy, and safety, including the need for caseworker approval before traveling out of state or out of the country, the importance of never sharing foster children’s names or photos in public spaces or news media, and the responsibility to keep kids away from potentially dangerous activities. I touch on how things like sleepovers, sports, and other activities must always be cleared through the agency to ensure safety and compliance with state rules. While the list is broad, I explain how these limits exist to protect foster children’s identities, well-being, and future opportunities. I close by encouraging foster parents to always check directly with their caseworker when in doubt and to reach out with additional rules or experiences so future episodes can continue to build on this important topic.

A helpful guide from Knotts Family Agency with an overview of important rules.

1. Alter their appearance without permission
2. Share their faces on social media
3. Leave them with unapproved babysitters
4. Refuse to or vaccinate them
5. Leave them at home without adult supervision (depending on age)
6. Permit co-sleeping arrangements
7. Change their names
8. Move to a different state or travel overseas
9. Share their names or photos in newspaper articles
10. Allow them to partake in dangerous activities

00:00 — Intro & Episode Overview: 10 Things Foster Parents Can’t Do

00:42 — #1 Changing Appearance Without Permission

01:43 — #2 Sharing Faces on Social Media

03:01 — #3 Leaving Them With Unapproved Babysitters

03:45 — #4 Refusing or Giving Vaccines Without Permission

04:54 — #5 Leaving Them Home Alone

05:38 — #6 Co-Sleeping Arrangements

06:34 — #7 Changing Their Name

07:57 — #8 Moving or Traveling Out of State/Country

08:55 — #9 Sharing Names & Photos in News or Media

10:22 — #10 Dangerous Activities + Sleepover Rules & Wrap-Up

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