In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I talk about 10 ways anyone can raise happier children.

Lesson #1: Teach your kids about feelings.

I was not brought up to consider my feelings. I was not taught to label my emotions, much less validate my emotions.

We can create a happy environment for our kids by helping them to learn how to feel their feelings.

Lesson #2: Teach your kids about boundaries.

This not only means helping them understand that they need to establish healthy boundaries for themselves, but that they need to respect the boundaries of others, as well.

We all have those days when we just want to be left alone with our own thoughts and emotions.

Lesson #3: Allow your kids to follow their own passions.

This might seem obvious, but a lot of us parents tend to say “yes” only to those things that lie within the parameters of what we believe is acceptable for our kids to explore.

It took me a long time to realize that, “Who am I to be the gatekeeper of which hobby gets to be worthy and which doesn’t?”

Allow your child to be their own person and remove your own agenda about who you think they should become out of the equation.

Lesson #4: Let your kids see you unhappy, make mistakes, and fail.

We understandably take a lot of pride in our kids. We want them to have all the awards and accolades they can achieve.

Failure is inevitable. If you live to avoid failure, you’ll have a very tough time fulfilling your potential and truly feeling happy.

Lesson #5: Accept your kids as they are, even if you are scared that they are failing in life.

We project our goals and fears onto our children, and therefore we don’t allow their own dreams to flourish.

Deep down, we want our kids to be perfect (at least according to our standards of “perfection”). Anything that we consider a weakness, whether true or not, we project onto them and forecast into their entire life.

It causes us to constantly nag, and it eats at their spirit.

Instead, accept your child exactly as they are. Try to imagine how a so-called “negative” trait may actually be one of their strengths.

Lesson #6: Examine your parenting principles.

Are you simply and blindly following parenting advice that your own parents or fellow parents taught you?

Have you ever actually examined why you parent the way you parent? Do you truly believe in the strategies you use with your own kids?

Many of us grew up with overly strict parents who scolded or even physically disciplined us for voicing our own opinions. And with that as our model, we end up using the same approach toward our kids, without even thinking about it.

Lesson #7: Focus on consistent effort, not the result.

Your kids notice and model your behavior. We often tend to celebrate the wins, and the wins alone. But if we only highlight the wins, we give our kids the message that it’s only worth celebrating if they come home with a win.

Teach your kids to appreciate consistency and effort to build their willpower, resilience, and self-esteem.

Lesson #8: Unstructure your time.

Give your kids unstructured play, such as by giving them a blank sheet of paper on which they can draw whatever they want.

Lesson #9: Instead of telling your kids what to do, guide them to their own answers by asking questions.

I believe that one of the keys to happiness is learning to trust our own wisdom and finding the answers that are right for us.

It’s only human to want to validate all of our decisions by relying on other people’s opinions.

Lesson #10: In order to raise happy kids, you have to be happy yourself.

As moms, we want to protect our kids from everything. We believe that sacrificing ourselves is the only way to raise happy children.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

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