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[10] Who Makes the First Move? (the Sapphic Dilemma)
- If you're new to lesbian dating, you're likely struggling with the question: "Who makes the first move?!"
- It's a queer right of passage that most females go through when transitioning from dating males to dating females
- This episode teaches you a framework to move through the awkward "Who makes the first move?" dilemma so you can date with confidence
LINKS
- Visit consciousrelating.org
- Upcoming Events: consciousrelating.org/events
- Couple's Coaching: consciousrelating.org/coaching
- Join the Newsletter: subscribepage.io/consciousrelating
CHAPTERS
1. The Lesbian Dating Stalemate (Why No One Makes the First Move)
Why mutual attraction so often turns into awkward tension in sapphic dating—especially for people new to dating women.
2. Transitioning from Dating Men to Dating Women
How shifting dating dynamics exposes unspoken rules around initiation, desire, and vulnerability in queer relationships.
3. The Impact of Sexual Harassment and Assault on Dating
How lived experiences of harassment and assault shape hesitation, hyper-awareness, and fear of making someone uncomfortable.
4. Why Mutual Desire Still Feels Risky to Act On
Exploring the nervous-system response behind “we both want this, so why can’t we move?”
5. Patriarchal Dating Scripts vs. Queer Relating
Why traditional hetero dating norms don’t work in lesbian and sapphic dynamics—and what replaces them.
6. What Is Spacious Consent?
A countercultural approach to consent that prioritizes safety, authenticity, and nervous-system regulation.
7. Why “Just Asking” Isn’t Always Enough
How assertiveness can still feel pressuring—and when softening creates more trust.
8. How to Initiate Without Pressure (Real-Life Examples)
Practical ways to express desire for hand-holding, kissing, or intimacy without rushing or cornering someone.
9. Reading Body Language and Somatic Cues
Why consent isn’t just verbal—and how to tune into subtle signals, especially with trauma histories.
10. Creating Erotic Tension Without Forcing an Outcome
How slowing down and holding desire can actually increase attraction and intimacy.
11. Reprogramming Fear, Fawning, and Freeze Responses
How spacious consent helps undo trauma-based dating patterns and builds relational safety.
12. What Queer Relationships Teach Us About Trust
Why queer and sapphic dating models offer powerful lessons about consent, co-creation, and emotional intimacy.
13. Dating as a Practice of Presence and Liberation
How slowing down in love becomes a radical act of healing in an overstimulated world.
14. Reflection Questions for Your Own Dating Life
Invitations to notice what shows up in your body, thoughts, and emotions when desire meets hesitation.
Music Credits
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/dreamstate
License code: YTLHO7DQH73KDCKC
View all episodes
By Forest Williams- If you're new to lesbian dating, you're likely struggling with the question: "Who makes the first move?!"
- It's a queer right of passage that most females go through when transitioning from dating males to dating females
- This episode teaches you a framework to move through the awkward "Who makes the first move?" dilemma so you can date with confidence
LINKS
- Visit consciousrelating.org
- Upcoming Events: consciousrelating.org/events
- Couple's Coaching: consciousrelating.org/coaching
- Join the Newsletter: subscribepage.io/consciousrelating
CHAPTERS
1. The Lesbian Dating Stalemate (Why No One Makes the First Move)
Why mutual attraction so often turns into awkward tension in sapphic dating—especially for people new to dating women.
2. Transitioning from Dating Men to Dating Women
How shifting dating dynamics exposes unspoken rules around initiation, desire, and vulnerability in queer relationships.
3. The Impact of Sexual Harassment and Assault on Dating
How lived experiences of harassment and assault shape hesitation, hyper-awareness, and fear of making someone uncomfortable.
4. Why Mutual Desire Still Feels Risky to Act On
Exploring the nervous-system response behind “we both want this, so why can’t we move?”
5. Patriarchal Dating Scripts vs. Queer Relating
Why traditional hetero dating norms don’t work in lesbian and sapphic dynamics—and what replaces them.
6. What Is Spacious Consent?
A countercultural approach to consent that prioritizes safety, authenticity, and nervous-system regulation.
7. Why “Just Asking” Isn’t Always Enough
How assertiveness can still feel pressuring—and when softening creates more trust.
8. How to Initiate Without Pressure (Real-Life Examples)
Practical ways to express desire for hand-holding, kissing, or intimacy without rushing or cornering someone.
9. Reading Body Language and Somatic Cues
Why consent isn’t just verbal—and how to tune into subtle signals, especially with trauma histories.
10. Creating Erotic Tension Without Forcing an Outcome
How slowing down and holding desire can actually increase attraction and intimacy.
11. Reprogramming Fear, Fawning, and Freeze Responses
How spacious consent helps undo trauma-based dating patterns and builds relational safety.
12. What Queer Relationships Teach Us About Trust
Why queer and sapphic dating models offer powerful lessons about consent, co-creation, and emotional intimacy.
13. Dating as a Practice of Presence and Liberation
How slowing down in love becomes a radical act of healing in an overstimulated world.
14. Reflection Questions for Your Own Dating Life
Invitations to notice what shows up in your body, thoughts, and emotions when desire meets hesitation.
Music Credits
https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/dreamstate
License code: YTLHO7DQH73KDCKC