After every episode of this podcast, one of the celebrities mentioned therein has died. No kidding, every one. There could be a non-supernatural explanation for this, for instance: a lot of elderly celebrities come up on this podcast, which is produced by elderly podcasters. But the fellows know the truth: Dan Wakes Up Screaming is cursed, a lot like the haunted videotape from The Ring, which may explain why no one listens.

It's getting sort of terrifying to wield this much power over life and death, so this time the fellows intentionally selected someone to reap the whirlwind. It's nothing personal, and this way, if nothing else, the unfortunate celebrity has time to get his affairs in order.

Also... dear Shelly Long: please be careful out there, you have been tempting fate for nearly a year.

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Ride My Tempo” by Fhernando

“I Owe it to the sunlight” by Water Sark

"Resistor Anthems" by Eric Skiff

“Life Coach” by Mountain High

“Sun Lotion” by Steadman

“Black and White” by Void Vision