The Art of We

103. Making Decisions When You Want Different Things


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Krista and Will dive into the delicate dance of making decisions together when you and your partner aren't on the same page. From the lighthearted story of their mug collection clash to the bigger conversations about significant decisions, they explore how they’ve navigated differences without sacrificing connection. Compromise is not the solution – but creating a win/win is. Listen in for practical insights, light humor, and actionable steps to turn moments of tension into opportunities for deeper partnership.

“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

(00:00) Welcome!

(00:30) The importance of full alignment before making a decision in a partnership

(1:08) Navigating moments when you're not on the same page

(2:20) How even small decisions can symbolize deeper relational dynamics

(4:07) How our upbringings shape our preferences

(5:25) The shift from “me vs. you” to a “we” mindset in decision-making

(6:50) Will & Krista’s challenging decisions

(9:00) Understanding underlying fears can help you move toward alignment

(12:38) The power of setting clear agreements to support decisions

(14:12) Conflict isn’t bad, it’s an opportunity to strengthen

(23:15) Slowing down to make decisions together can lead to faster, stronger alignment in the long run

Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Resources Mentioned: 

  • Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
  • Episode 68: Navigating Fights About Driving Styles

Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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