Are you and your partner sexually compatible? That’s the theme of today’s Hotline Calls show, as my Producer and I break down these couples' sex and relationship issues. First, when your partner isn’t pleasuring you as much as you’d like, does that mean they aren’t attracted? Or just nervous? Next, do you squirt during sex? It’s a goal for many, but what if it’s happening more than you’d like? How about sex drive discrepancy? When you’ve had more chemistry with past partners – and more sex – is your current partner not a fit? Or do you need to find a middle ground? Finally, what happens when your partner’s got a kink that weirds you out? We don’t yuck anyone’s yum here, but one caller needs advice on navigating brother-sister role play.

Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Have you ever wondered if you’re the asshole in your sex life and relationships? Today, Producer Erica and I are letting you know if you’re approaching asshole territory - and not the good kind. One listener hooked up with someone else while they were on a break, and now her partner says she can’t be trusted. Who’s the asshole here? Another listener wants to spice it up in the bedroom, but her husband with a kinky past sees her as a “delicate little angel.” Sounds like a case of the classic Madonna-Whore complex. What about when your partner won’t perform oral sex? Are you the asshole for craving it? We get into all this and more.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

The Sex With Emily Hotline is open! On this episode, I’m joined by my Producer, Erica, as we talk about disappearing erections, prostate massages, and so much more. 

First, what do you do when your partner has health issues that cause them to lose their erections? I give one caller ideas for how to work around this issue and thoughts on what might be causing it in the first place. Next, why don’t couples fantasize together more often? A couple calls in to share their sexual fantasies, and we give you inspo on how to do the same with your partner. When your partner wants a prostate massage, how do you pull it off? I tell you what to feel for, how to apply pressure and fun toys you can use. Finally, when your partner has never had an orgasm before, how can you help? And should you?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Two of your most powerful sex accessories? Your hands. Hands set the tone of your sexual energy. For example, caressing their cheek while you make out versus pinning their hands down while you have sex. And while we talk a lot about what to do with our mouths or genitals on this show, today I’m focusing on a lost art: hand play. Specifically, how to finger, give a hand job, and use your hands with sexual intention. 

Today, my Producer, Erica, and I first share how to penetrate a vulva with your fingers. We give you tricks to stimulate the labia and clitoris, different forms of pressure and touch, and how to find the G-spot when you finger. Next, we give the penis some love with hand job techniques and upgrades like toy play and perineum stimulation. Finally, we discuss secondary erogenous zones and answer your hand play questions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

It’s Hotline Calls time! And we’ve got one common theme: trust - the foundation of hot sex. Because when you trust yourself and the person you’re with, you can fully let go in bed and relax into your deepest pleasure.

When oral sex gets too rough, how can you ask your partner to be more gentle and respectful? I’ve got some thoughts. When your partner doesn’t love booty play – but you definitely do – can you still ask for a rim job? Let’s say your partner goes to strip clubs, and it makes you super uncomfortable. How do you set boundaries together? Finally, when you’re the non-primary partner in a polyamorous relationship, what resources can you turn to for advice & guidance?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Dating as an adult is exhausting. While experience comes with age, actually applying that experience is easier said than done…even for professionals. 

With me today are two therapy professionals who also happen to be partners: John Kim and Vanessa Bennett. Their book “It’s Not Me, It’s You” offers an anecdotal road map of how to “relationship better,” from overcoming commitment issues, to fanning the sex flames, to breaking the blame cycle. John and Vanessa expertly dissect their own relationship to inspire us to create healthy bonds with the people we love. Listen to learn why “the one” is a myth, how to wean ourselves off codependency and how to replace obligatory sex with erotic collaboration.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Initiating sex, dry spells, and mismatched libidos: the Hotline Calls are open, and your sex questions are answered! Today’s sexual concerns are especially relatable: I’m willing to bet you’ve experienced one of these yourself.

Let’s start with orgasms. When you can only get off in one very specific position, how can you retrain your body and mind? I give you tips on switching up your technique. Next: coming out of a sexual dry spell, how do you learn to initiate again? I help you collaborate with your partner. When you’re always a top (the more dominant one during sex), how can you tell your partner that you’d like to bottom (be more submissive) occasionally? I walk you through that conversation. Finally, when your spouse has next to zero interest in sex, what now? I offer insights on changing your relationship patterns to experience mutual pleasure and compatibility.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

When you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open the relationship? What does it mean when they don’t finish during sex? In today’s Hotline Calls episode, I’m taking all your pressing sex questions. 

First, when you want to bring sex toys and lube into the bedroom, but your partner is firmly opposed…what now? I offer communication tips to help bring down defenses. Next, when you’re loving sex with your partner but they never orgasm, is that a cause for concern? I talk about delayed ejaculation and why it happens. We also get into non-monogamy: when you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open up the relationship? Or is a different, deeper conversation needed? Finally, when you’re happily hooking up, how do you keep casual sex from turning into serious relationships?

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex.

First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

How do you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? On today’s show, I’m telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in Smart Sex, I’m talking through two specific positions that bring the kink – and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play.

First, I’m looking at Cowgirl/Cowboy and talking through its pros, cons, and evolutions to introduce kinky dynamics. Next, I’m talking Doggy Style (or as I like to call it: Rear Entry) and breaking down its inherent kink dynamics and ideas to make it even more exciting. Finally, we’re looking at Missionary, which I think we can all agree needs a kinky rebrand. I’ll give you ideas to make it more surprising and sexy.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Show Notes:

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com