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What if being the “easygoing” one, always saying yes, and putting everyone else’s needs first is actually keeping you from knowing your own worth?
In this episode, we sit down with Thais Gibson, counselor, speaker, Ph.D., and founder of The Personal Development School, to explore the hidden connection between people-pleasing, attachment styles, and self-worth. With expertise in over 13 therapeutic modalities, Thais shares her insights into why we develop these patterns, how they show up in our relationships, and what it takes to break free from them.
We dive into why people-pleasing is so common, how our upbringing can shape our need for approval, and the subtle ways we abandon ourselves to keep others happy. We also explore why even the most reasonable boundaries can feel uncomfortable, and how to recognize when being agreeable comes at the expense of your own needs.
Plus, we unpack the difference between genuine confidence and conditional self-worth. Why do so many of us measure our value by how useful, successful, attractive, agreeable, or wanted we are? And how can we begin to feel worthy simply because of who we are, rather than what we do for others?
Thais shares practical tools for building a stronger sense of self-worth, setting boundaries with greater confidence, and creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships. We wrap up with her top tips for strengthening your self-worth and learning to show up as your most authentic self.
In this episode, we explore:
About our guest: Thais Gibson
Thais Gibson is a counselor, speaker, and leader in the personal development field. She holds a Ph.D. and is certified in over 13 modalities, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, NLP, somatic processing, and trauma work. Drawing on her academic training, personal experience, and client-based research, she developed Gibson Integrated Attachment Theory™ and founded The Personal Development School, which offers in-depth programs, courses, and modules focused on personal growth, emotional healing, and relationships.
Connect with Thais:
If you’ve ever struggled to say no, felt responsible for everyone else’s happiness, or found yourself questioning your worth when you’re not being productive or pleasing others, this conversation is for you. It’s time to stop earning your worth and start learning how to believe in it.
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off getting turned on by Drive Boost with code SHAMELESS at https://vb.health
Bring the heat back into your sex life with $10 off your first month at http://getarya.com/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off April's favorite vibrator - the Magic Wand Waterproof (and other sexy items) with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Learn new creative ways to play with touch with your partner with The Glows at https://feeltheglows.com
In this episode, we sit down with Justin Adams, founder of The Dominance Academy, to explore dominance as something far deeper than bedroom technique, power, or performance. A Brooklyn-based practitioner and educator, Justin approaches dominance as a discipline of character rooted in self-authored ethics, ritual, self-awareness, and the responsibility that comes with being trusted by another person.
Drawing on Taoism, Stoicism, and Jungian shadow integration, Justin offers a thoughtful alternative to both Manosphere masculinity and the often-sanitized conversations surrounding mainstream kink culture. We get into the psychology of power, the difference between healthy authority and pathological control, and why true dominance begins with mastering yourself.
We also unpack nice guy syndrome and how people-pleasing, fear of rejection, and unspoken expectations can undermine confidence, intimacy, and sexual dynamics. Is dominance something every man can benefit from learning, even if he doesn't identify as kinky? And what separates a man who simply likes being in control in the bedroom from someone who understands the responsibility of wielding power?
From building trust and practicing healthy dominance to exploring how BDSM can foster deeper communication and stronger relationships, Justin shares practical insights for anyone interested in becoming more intentional in their relationships and sexuality.
We also discuss his forthcoming book, Way of Surrender: The Tao of BDSM, which explores a compelling paradox: the Dominant surrenders to the Tao, while the submissive surrenders to the Dominant. Plus, we talk about his work giving submissives a platform to share their own experiences and perspectives, challenging the tendency to speak about them rather than listen to them.
In this conversation, we explore:
Whether you're curious about BDSM, interested in masculine identity and personal growth, or looking to build more honest, intentional relationships, this conversation challenges conventional ideas about power, masculinity, and what it truly means to lead.
Learn more about Justin's work and The Dominance Academy at https://thedominanceacademy.com/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thedominanceacademy
Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/thedominanceacademy
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off getting soaking wet with code SHAMELESS at http://soakingwet.com
Bring the heat back into your sex life with $10 off your first month at http://getarya.com/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off April's favorite vibrator - the Magic Wand Waterproof (and other sexy items) with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
This episode is with repeat guests Alicia and Erwan Davon and is all about upping your blowjobs skills. #258 was all about using hands and mouths for oral pleasure. Now let’s get more advanced! We discuss:
*The common issues/fears people have around giving blowjobs
*The common issues penis owners have around receiving
*Basics/1.0 level skills people should know about
*How Tantra can it take oral sex even deeper/to the advanced level
*Advanced oral sex tips for the giver
*Advanced oral sex tips for the receiver
*Whether actions such as swallowing and the money shot matter
More about our guests: Erwan and Alicia Davon are the foremost Tantra teachers in the San Francisco Bay Area and the creators of the Davon Method, their signature approach to love, intimacy, and connection.
For over 22 years, this married couple has taught more than 22,000 students through group programs, retreats, and private sessions — guiding singles into lasting relationships and helping couples thrive. Their method blends academic backgrounds in psychology with the principles of Zen Buddhism into a holistic path for deepening connection with yourself and others. As the Bay Area's go-to teachers for all things romantic and sexual, they now reach students worldwide through online learning.
Erwan studied psychology and graduated with honors, drawing on both a challenging childhood and an early immersion in therapeutic work. He went on to live and study in a Zen monastery, direct a yoga ashram, train in cutting-edge sensual practices, and teach personal development at one of the world's largest personal-growth organizations. In 1995, his passion for teaching led him to found the Davon Method, dedicated to helping people build extraordinary romantic relationships.
Alicia holds a Master's degree in Integral Psychology, with a focus on women's romantic and sexual expression. She has led numerous women's groups devoted to female pleasure and fulfillment across career, relationship, and life. She met Erwan 23 years ago and began teaching alongside him a year later.
Together, Erwan and Alicia have spent more than two decades refining a curriculum and a set of techniques that create a safe, welcoming space to grow. Whether you want to build chemistry, deepen connection, communicate more openly, or reignite passion, their guidance meets you where you are — and makes the process genuinely fun. Get ready: working with them is a blast. To learn more go to: https://davonmethod.com/
Follow them on IG @davonmethod
Find them on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alicia-davon/
To set up a consultation:
415 308 9580
https://davonmethod.com/consult
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Up-level your life and get at least 15% off any annual membership at http://masterclass.com/shameless
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SHAMELESS at https://www.oneskin.co/shameless
Bring the heat back into your sex life with $10 off your first month at http://getarya.com/shameless
Get turned on anywhere, anytime with Dipsea + get a week FREE and then 25% at http://dipseastories.com/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off April's favorite vibrator - the Magic Wand Waterproof (and other sexy items) with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Let’s Talk About Kissing! 💋
In this episode, we’re joined by repeat guest Ashley Randall (aka Irreverent Femme) for a deep dive into one of the most underrated parts of intimacy: kissing.
We’re talking all things making out—from different kissing styles and techniques to neck kissing, full-body kissing, and how to figure out what your partner actually likes. We also explore why kissing and making out can so often disappear from long-term relationships, what you can do to bring it back, and why kissing can be such an important part of intimacy and connection.
Plus, we get into what to do (and what not to do!) when it comes to being a great kisser, how to learn your partner’s unique kissing style, and how to keep things playful, connected, and exciting.
About our guest:
Ashley Randall, also known as Irreverent Femme, is a certified Sex, Intimacy & Kink Coach, Dominatrix, and erotic perfumist. She offers transformative coaching for individuals and partners seeking deeper intimacy, sexual confidence, and authentic connection.
💋 Ready to up your kissing game? This episode is for you.
Learn more about Ashley at http://irreverentcoaching.com
Follow her on IG @irreverentlovecoaching
Check out her erotic perfums: https://www.irreverentscents.com
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Other links:
Get turned on anywhere, anytime with Dipsea + get a week FREE and then 25% at http://dipseastories.com/shameless
Get 10% off boosting your load with code SHAMELESS at https://loadboost.com
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off April's favorite vibrator - the Magic Wand Waterproof (and other sexy items) with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
In this episode, we’re joined by Andre Lazarus, Somatic Intimacy Guide, sex and intimacy coach, and one of the professional surrogate partners featured on the UK series Virgin Island.
Andre takes us behind the scenes of his unconventional work, including what it’s actually like to help people navigate intimacy challenges — and whether being a surrogate partner means, well… what you might think it means.
We then get into the big questions around men and sex: what Andre wishes more men knew, what he wishes they’d do less of, and what he wishes more women understood about supporting the men they’re intimate with.
We also tackle two issues that come up frequently in Andre’s work: erection difficulties and “rapid ejaculation.” Why do they happen? How much does performance pressure play a role? And what can men actually do about it?
And finally, perhaps the most important question of all: If your penis could use a little pep talk, what should you say to it?
Expect a candid, funny, and practical conversation about sex, confidence, vulnerability, communication, and learning to get out of your head — and back into your body.
What a surrogate partner actually does
Andre’s experience on Virgin Island
Men, sex, and performance pressure
Erection difficulties and rapid ejaculation
What men should do more — and less — in bed
What women can do to better support male partners
Building sexual confidence and connection
And, yes… what to say to your penis when it needs some encouragement
Learn more about Andre and his work at www.coming-closer.com.
Follow him on IG @comingcloserwithandre
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off getting turned on by Drive Boost with code SHAMELESS at https://vb.health
Bring the heat back into your sex life with $10 off your first month at http://getarya.com/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount
This week, we’re joined by Dr. Shannon Chavez, a leading voice in modern sexual wellness and one of the incredible experts teaching at our next Shameless Sex Couples Retreat!
Dr. Chavez is a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, professional sex coach, and founder of SHAPE Psychology. Her work brings a holistic, culturally inclusive approach to sex, relationships, and pleasure—and helps make conversations about sexuality feel more accessible, meaningful, and shame-free.
In this episode, we’re getting into one of the sexiest—and sometimes most awkward—topics: dirty talk! How do you make it feel authentic instead of forced? What if you feel totally uncomfortable saying “naughty” things out loud? And how do you figure out what actually turns you and your partner on?
We talk about:
What Dr. Chavez is hearing from clients about dirty talk: Are people into it, wanting more of it, or feeling intimidated by it?
Why dirty talk can feel so vulnerable, awkward, or difficult—even when you’re turned on
The different styles and forms of dirty talk, and how to find what works for you
A step-by-step approach to making dirty talk feel more natural and authentic
How to build confidence and discover your personal dirty-talk style
How to know what to say in the moment (without feeling like you have to perform!)
Talking about boundaries and consent around erotic language
How couples can create their own shared erotic language
And how to move past shame and self-consciousness so you can actually enjoy talking dirty
Whether you’re a seasoned dirty-talker or the mere thought of saying something sexy out loud makes you want to crawl under the covers, this episode will give you practical tools to make erotic communication feel more natural, playful, and connected.
Learn more about Dr. Shannon Chavez at http://drshannonchavez.com.
Follow here on IG: @drshannonchavez
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
Other links:
Get 10% off getting soaking wet with code SHAMELESS at http://soakingwet.com
Get turned on anywhere, anytime with Dipsea + get a week FREE and then 25% at http://dipseastories.com/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount
In this episode, we’re joined by our marketing director Paigge Gilbert for a deeply curious conversation about sex, pleasure, intimacy, and desire. We talk about what it’s actually like to train as a sex and relationship coach through Somatica—and dive into some big questions about how we experience and explore our erotic selves. We explore:
This is a conversation about moving beyond the idea that there’s a “right” way to experience sexuality and instead getting curious about what makes you feel alive, embodied, connected, and turned on.
About our guest: Paigge Gilbert has spent the last eight years figuring out how to successfully market the things the internet doesn’t always make easy to talk about: sex, pleasure, intimacy, and relationships. As the founder of Queen Media, she’s built her career developing marketing strategies for leading sex educators, relationship experts, adult stars, podcasts, and sexual wellness brands, helping them grow loyal audiences while navigating censorship, stigma, and constantly changing platforms. Now, she’s adding another layer to that expertise by completing the Somatica Institute’s Sex & Relationship Coach Certification, with the goal of bringing her years of industry experience into more direct, intimate work with clients.
Apply to do a practice session with Paigge: https://www.queenmediamgmt.com/somatica-practice-session
Check out Queen Media: https://www.queenmediamgmt.com
Follow her on IG @paaaiiggee and @queenmediamgmt
Learn more about the Somatica training: https://www.somaticainstitute.com
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off boosting your load with code SHAMELESS at https://loadboost.com
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys and lube with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount. And click here to set up a free 15 minute consult to discover if you are in menopause
Why do so many men struggle to last as long as they want—and why do so many women struggle with arousal and sensation?
In this episode, we sit down with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, a leading sexual wellness company focused on helping people improve intimacy, confidence, and sexual health.
Jeff shares the story behind Promescent, from discovering a groundbreaking treatment for premature ejaculation developed by urologist Dr. Ronald Gilbert to building the company into a full-spectrum sexual wellness brand with more than 5 million bottles sold and thousands of healthcare professionals recommending its products.
We dig into some of the most common—and often misunderstood—sexual health concerns affecting men and women. Jeff explains what premature ejaculation actually means, how common it is, what qualifies as “premature,” and the different options available for improving ejaculatory control, including the surprising role of medications like SSRIs.
We also turn the conversation toward women’s sexual health, exploring why low libido, difficulty becoming aroused, and reduced sensation are so common, what can contribute to these issues, and what options exist for improving arousal and pleasure.
Finally, Jeff breaks down how Promescent’s doctor-developed products work, how they differ from other solutions on the market, and why making sexual wellness more accessible can have such a meaningful impact on confidence and intimacy.
In this episode, we discuss:
Check out Promescent and get 15% off: https://www.promescent.com/shameless15
Follow Promescent on IG @promescent
Facebook @promescent
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Up-level your life and get at least 15% off any annual membership at http://masterclass.com/shameless
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SHAMELESS at https://www.oneskin.co/shameless
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount
In this episode, I’m joined by repeat guests Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., founders of the Somatica® Institute and creators of the Somatica® Method of sex and relationship coaching.
Danielle and Celeste are thought leaders in the world of sex and relationships and have trained more than 1,000 coaches in their groundbreaking approach, which helps people get out of their heads and into their bodies so they can build confidence, feel empowered to be themselves, and go after what they truly want in dating, sex, and relationships. They’re also the lead sexologists on the UK’s award-winning TV show Virgin Island, bringing their expertise to a global audience.
In this episode, we dive into what Virgin Island is really about, how Danielle and Celeste became the show’s lead sexologists, and what they learned from working with people who feel inexperienced, insecure, or disconnected when it comes to sex.
We talk about the fears and challenges that come with sexual inexperience—whether you’ve never had sex, have had very little experience, or have been with the same partner for 20 years. We explore the tools Danielle and Celeste use to create powerful shifts in confidence and connection, why understanding your Core Desires can transform your dating and sex life, and how you can uncover your own.
We also get into practical advice for men and women who are dating without much sexual experience, including how to move past shame and insecurity, build confidence, and become more comfortable asking for what you want.
Whether you consider yourself sexually inexperienced, struggle with confidence, or simply want a deeper understanding of your desires and how to communicate them, this conversation offers practical tools for becoming more embodied, confident, and connected in your relationships.
To learn more go to https://www.somaticainstitute.com
Take their quiz here: https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/at-your-core-quiz/
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off boosting your load with code SHAMELESS at https://loadboost.com
Get 45% off our favorite ethical (and educatonal) porn with code PLEASURE at http://erikalust.com — that’s Erika with a K
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount. And click here to set up a free 15 minute consult to discover if you are in menopause
In this episode, we’re joined by Regena Thomashauer—better known as Mama Gena—to explore the transformative power of surrender, pleasure, and living fully on your own terms.
Regena is the founder of the School of Womanly Arts and the author of the New York Times bestseller Pussy: A Reclamation. For more than 25 years, she has taught hundreds of thousands of women around the world to reclaim pleasure, desire, and sovereign power as the foundation of a fully lived life. Her newest book, On Our Knees, invites us to reconsider surrender—not as submission or giving away our power, but as a radical way of reclaiming it.
We talk about what surrender really means, why it can be especially powerful for women, and how it differs from silence, submission, or simply giving in. Regena shares practical advice for anyone who struggles to surrender, along with simple ways to reconnect with yourself when life feels overwhelming.
We also explore her idea of “hard milestones”—the divorce, heartbreak, illness, and other experiences we often interpret as failures, but that can instead become profound turning points. Along the way, we discuss why pleasure isn’t frivolous or indulgent, but part of the real work of creating a meaningful life.
Regena offers five ways women can feel more at home in their own lives, practical strategies for getting through the worst possible day, and her thoughts on whether these lessons apply to men, too. We also unpack her distinction between becoming “The Courtesan” rather than “The Seductress,” and what can happen when women stop performing for others and begin living from their own desire and authority.
Regena Thomashauer is an icon, teacher, author, mother, and one of the pioneers in the study and practice of pleasure. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Times of London, Good Morning America, and The Today Show. On Our Knees is her fifth book, published by Hay House on August 25, 2026.
Prepare for a conversation about surrender, resilience, pleasure, power, and what it means to truly feel at home in your own life.
Learn more about Regena aka Mama Gena and her work at http://mamagenas.com
Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy
Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List
Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast
Other links:
Get 10% off getting turned on by Drive Boost with code SHAMELESS at https://vb.health
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SHAMELESS at https://www.oneskin.co/shameless
Get 45% off our favorite ethical (and educatonal) porn with code PLEASURE at http://erikalust.com — that’s Erika with a K
Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com
Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com
Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount
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