Shameless Sex

In this episode, we’re joined by Andre Lazarus, Somatic Intimacy Guide, sex and intimacy coach, and one of the professional surrogate partners featured on the UK series Virgin Island.

Andre takes us behind the scenes of his unconventional work, including what it’s actually like to help people navigate intimacy challenges — and whether being a surrogate partner means, well… what you might think it means.

We then get into the big questions around men and sex: what Andre wishes more men knew, what he wishes they’d do less of, and what he wishes more women understood about supporting the men they’re intimate with.

We also tackle two issues that come up frequently in Andre’s work: erection difficulties and “rapid ejaculation.” Why do they happen? How much does performance pressure play a role? And what can men actually do about it?

And finally, perhaps the most important question of all: If your penis could use a little pep talk, what should you say to it?

Expect a candid, funny, and practical conversation about sex, confidence, vulnerability, communication, and learning to get out of your head — and back into your body.

Learn more about Andre and his work at www.coming-closer.com.

Follow him on IG @comingcloserwithandre

Learn more about our retreats: ⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat

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Other links:

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Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://swanmd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ + mention Shameless Sex for a discount

This week, we’re joined by Dr. Shannon Chavez, a leading voice in modern sexual wellness and one of the incredible experts teaching at our next Shameless Sex Couples Retreat!

Dr. Chavez is a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, professional sex coach, and founder of SHAPE Psychology. Her work brings a holistic, culturally inclusive approach to sex, relationships, and pleasure—and helps make conversations about sexuality feel more accessible, meaningful, and shame-free.

In this episode, we’re getting into one of the sexiest—and sometimes most awkward—topics: dirty talk! How do you make it feel authentic instead of forced? What if you feel totally uncomfortable saying “naughty” things out loud? And how do you figure out what actually turns you and your partner on?

We talk about:

Whether you’re a seasoned dirty-talker or the mere thought of saying something sexy out loud makes you want to crawl under the covers, this episode will give you practical tools to make erotic communication feel more natural, playful, and connected.

Learn more about Dr. Shannon Chavez at http://drshannonchavez.com.

Follow here on IG: @drshannonchavez

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Follow us on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@shamelesssexpodcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat

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In this episode, we’re joined by our marketing director Paigge Gilbert for a deeply curious conversation about sex, pleasure, intimacy, and desire. We talk about what it’s actually like to train as a sex and relationship coach through Somatica—and dive into some big questions about how we experience and explore our erotic selves. We explore:

This is a conversation about moving beyond the idea that there’s a “right” way to experience sexuality and instead getting curious about what makes you feel alive, embodied, connected, and turned on.

About our guest: Paigge Gilbert has spent the last eight years figuring out how to successfully market the things the internet doesn’t always make easy to talk about: sex, pleasure, intimacy, and relationships. As the founder of Queen Media, she’s built her career developing marketing strategies for leading sex educators, relationship experts, adult stars,  podcasts, and sexual wellness brands, helping them grow loyal audiences while navigating censorship, stigma, and constantly changing platforms. Now, she’s adding another layer to that expertise by completing the Somatica Institute’s Sex & Relationship Coach Certification, with the goal of bringing her years of industry experience into more direct, intimate work with clients.

Apply to do a practice session with Paigge: https://www.queenmediamgmt.com/somatica-practice-session

Check out Queen Media: https://www.queenmediamgmt.com

Follow her on IG @paaaiiggee and @queenmediamgmt

Learn more about the Somatica training: https://www.somaticainstitute.com

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Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Other links:

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Why do so many men struggle to last as long as they want—and why do so many women struggle with arousal and sensation?

In this episode, we sit down with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, a leading sexual wellness company focused on helping people improve intimacy, confidence, and sexual health.

Jeff shares the story behind Promescent, from discovering a groundbreaking treatment for premature ejaculation developed by urologist Dr. Ronald Gilbert to building the company into a full-spectrum sexual wellness brand with more than 5 million bottles sold and thousands of healthcare professionals recommending its products.

We dig into some of the most common—and often misunderstood—sexual health concerns affecting men and women. Jeff explains what premature ejaculation actually means, how common it is, what qualifies as “premature,” and the different options available for improving ejaculatory control, including the surprising role of medications like SSRIs.

We also turn the conversation toward women’s sexual health, exploring why low libido, difficulty becoming aroused, and reduced sensation are so common, what can contribute to these issues, and what options exist for improving arousal and pleasure.

Finally, Jeff breaks down how Promescent’s doctor-developed products work, how they differ from other solutions on the market, and why making sexual wellness more accessible can have such a meaningful impact on confidence and intimacy.

In this episode, we discuss:

Check out Promescent and get 15% off: https://www.promescent.com/shameless15⁠

Follow Promescent on IG @promescent

Facebook @promescent

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In this episode, I’m joined by repeat guests Danielle Harel, Ph.D., and Celeste Hirschman, M.A., founders of the Somatica® Institute and creators of the Somatica® Method of sex and relationship coaching.

Danielle and Celeste are thought leaders in the world of sex and relationships and have trained more than 1,000 coaches in their groundbreaking approach, which helps people get out of their heads and into their bodies so they can build confidence, feel empowered to be themselves, and go after what they truly want in dating, sex, and relationships. They’re also the lead sexologists on the UK’s award-winning TV show Virgin Island, bringing their expertise to a global audience.

In this episode, we dive into what Virgin Island is really about, how Danielle and Celeste became the show’s lead sexologists, and what they learned from working with people who feel inexperienced, insecure, or disconnected when it comes to sex.

We talk about the fears and challenges that come with sexual inexperience—whether you’ve never had sex, have had very little experience, or have been with the same partner for 20 years. We explore the tools Danielle and Celeste use to create powerful shifts in confidence and connection, why understanding your Core Desires can transform your dating and sex life, and how you can uncover your own.

We also get into practical advice for men and women who are dating without much sexual experience, including how to move past shame and insecurity, build confidence, and become more comfortable asking for what you want.

Whether you consider yourself sexually inexperienced, struggle with confidence, or simply want a deeper understanding of your desires and how to communicate them, this conversation offers practical tools for becoming more embodied, confident, and connected in your relationships.

To learn more go to https://www.somaticainstitute.com

Take their quiz here: https://www.celesteanddanielle.com/at-your-core-quiz/

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Other links:

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In this episode, we’re joined by Regena Thomashauer—better known as Mama Gena—to explore the transformative power of surrender, pleasure, and living fully on your own terms.

Regena is the founder of the School of Womanly Arts and the author of the New York Times bestseller Pussy: A Reclamation. For more than 25 years, she has taught hundreds of thousands of women around the world to reclaim pleasure, desire, and sovereign power as the foundation of a fully lived life. Her newest book, On Our Knees, invites us to reconsider surrender—not as submission or giving away our power, but as a radical way of reclaiming it.

We talk about what surrender really means, why it can be especially powerful for women, and how it differs from silence, submission, or simply giving in. Regena shares practical advice for anyone who struggles to surrender, along with simple ways to reconnect with yourself when life feels overwhelming.

We also explore her idea of “hard milestones”—the divorce, heartbreak, illness, and other experiences we often interpret as failures, but that can instead become profound turning points. Along the way, we discuss why pleasure isn’t frivolous or indulgent, but part of the real work of creating a meaningful life.

Regena offers five ways women can feel more at home in their own lives, practical strategies for getting through the worst possible day, and her thoughts on whether these lessons apply to men, too. We also unpack her distinction between becoming “The Courtesan” rather than “The Seductress,” and what can happen when women stop performing for others and begin living from their own desire and authority.

Regena Thomashauer is an icon, teacher, author, mother, and one of the pioneers in the study and practice of pleasure. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Times of London, Good Morning America, and The Today Show. On Our Knees is her fifth book, published by Hay House on August 25, 2026.

Prepare for a conversation about surrender, resilience, pleasure, power, and what it means to truly feel at home in your own life.

Learn more about Regena aka Mama Gena and her work at http://mamagenas.com

Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now! Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shamelesssex.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to snag your copy

Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Other links:

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We talk a lot about long-term couples growing together emotionally—but what happens when their physical selves begin to change, too?

As we age, our bodies change, and those changes can have a real impact on intimacy, confidence, sexual function, and relationships. In this episode, we take an honest and often lighthearted look at what happens to both women and men as they grow older—and why these changes are something couples should face together, rather than allowing them to create insecurity, doubt, or blame.

We’re joined by Dr. Castillo, a fellowship-trained Female Pelvic Medicine specialist and the founder and director of Swan Medical Intimate Wellness in Los Gatos, California. Dr. Castillo brings extensive expertise in the changes that can occur as a consequence of childbirth, aging, and menopause, as well as the emerging treatments designed to improve sexual health and overall quality of life.

We start with women, exploring some of the most common changes in sexual function that occur with age, including the impact of menopause and shifting hormones. We also talk about the enormous beauty standards women face—and whether men might need to start “playing the game” a little more when it comes to maintaining their physical health and appearance.

Then we turn the conversation toward men. What changes can they expect as they age? What treatments and options are available? And, yes, we even ask the question you may have been wondering about: Are penile fillers for increased girth actually a thing?

Most importantly, this conversation is about removing the shame and stigma surrounding sexual health. Aging doesn't have to mean giving up intimacy, confidence, or connection. Understanding what is happening to our bodies—and knowing that there are options—can help couples approach these changes with compassion, humor, and a willingness to work through them together.

About our guest: Dr. Castillo completed his OB/GYN residency at St. Barnabas Medical Center in New Jersey before completing a three-year fellowship in Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery and Female Pelvic Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation. After five years of clinical practice at Kaiser Permanente, where he oversaw resident research and education and taught medical students as an Assistant Clinical Professor at Stanford University, he founded the first private Intimate Wellness Center in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Dr. Castillo remains actively involved in clinical research and serves on several women's health advisory boards, helping shape emerging therapies and advanced treatment protocols for conditions that affect intimacy and quality of life.

His mission is to address the root causes of common symptoms associated with aging while empowering women to embrace longevity and helping erase the stigma surrounding female sexual health through education, seminars, and compassionate care. To learn more go to https://swanmd.com, and mention Shameless Sex for a special gift.

And click here to set up a free 15 minute consult to discover if you are in menopause

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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What happens when we stop accepting the stories we’ve been taught about sex, gender, bodies, desire, and pleasure—and start questioning who those stories actually serve?

In this episode, we’re joined by Ericka Hart, M.Ed. (she/they), a trauma-informed, consent- and pleasure-based sex educator who has spent the past 15 years teaching comprehensive sex education at the elementary, high school, undergraduate, and graduate levels. Ericka is the founder of Sex Ed as Resistance, author of Nasty Work: Resist Systems, Explore Desire and Liberate Yourself, and co-host, alongside her partner Ebony, of the critically acclaimed podcast Hoodrat to Headwrap.

Ericka’s work challenges us to think differently about sexuality—not simply as something we learn about, but as something deeply connected to power, culture, history, identity, and liberation.

Together, we explore how traditional sex education has failed to give many of us the tools to understand our bodies and desires, and how societal and colonial ideas about sex and gender continue to shape who is allowed to experience pleasure. We unpack the history of consent and what it means to define consent beyond a simple “yes” or “no,” particularly when it comes to access, agency, and pleasure.

We also talk about reclaiming desire on our own terms, body positivity and the people left out of mainstream beauty and sex-appeal standards, and practical ways we can begin to challenge the messages we’ve internalized about our bodies.

This is a conversation about unlearning, resisting, exploring, and imagining something better—a world where sexuality education isn't about shame or fear, but about agency, pleasure, consent, and liberation.

In this episode, we explore:
• Why “education meets agitation” is at the heart of Ericka’s work
• Rethinking traditional sex education through Nasty Work
• The impact of societal and colonial views on sex, gender, and pleasure
• Consent, its history, and its relationship to access and agency
• How to reclaim desire on your own terms
• Body positivity, beauty standards, and who gets left out
• Tools for reconnecting with your body and pleasure
• What a radically different future for sexuality could look like
• Ericka’s work, Sex Ed as Resistance, and Nasty Work

Learn more about Ericka and her work at ihartericka.com.

Get Ericka’s book: Nasty Work: Resist Systems, Explore Desire and Liberate Yourself

Learn more about Sex Ed as Resistance and Ericka’s offerings: Ericka Hart’s website

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Other links:

Get 10% off boosting your load with code SHAMELESS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://loadboost.com⁠⁠

Get 45% off our favorite ethical (and educatonal) porn with code PLEASURE at ⁠http://erikalust.com ⁠— that’s Erika with a K

Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://uberlube.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Happy Anal August! Anal sex is one of the most talked-about—and most misunderstood—sexual experiences. Some people absolutely love it, while for others it's a firm no. So what makes the difference? Is it preference, preparation, anatomy, or simply misinformation?

In this episode, we're joined by Alex Hall, co-founder and host of The Bottom's Digest, sexual health educator, and body autonomy advocate, to answer the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.

We explore why anal sex feels pleasurable for some people, why it isn't for everyone, and how to approach it in a way that prioritizes comfort, communication, and consent. Alex shares practical advice for anyone who is curious about trying anal for the first time, including how to prepare physically and mentally for a more enjoyable experience.

No conversation about anal would be complete without talking about poop. We tackle the realities of digestive health, whether you should eat before anal sex, why diet and fiber can make such a difference, and simple preparation strategies that can help you feel more confident.

We also clear up the confusion around douching versus enemas, discussing when they may or may not be necessary and sharing safe, practical tips for anyone who chooses to douche.

Finally, Alex answers some of the most common questions listeners have: What should recovery look like afterward? Will your body "go back to normal?" How can you make longer sessions more comfortable? And is anal sex possible with larger partners?

Whether you're completely new to anal sex, looking to improve your experiences, or simply curious to learn more, this episode offers evidence-based information, practical guidance, and plenty of myth-busting—all with a judgment-free approach that centers pleasure, safety, and body autonomy.

About Alex Hall

Alex Hall is the co-founder and host of The Bottom's Digest, a platform dedicated to teaching people how to bottom safely while prioritizing pleasure from the mouth to the bum. He is a sexual health educator, butt and gut recipe developer, body autonomy activist, and proud husband to a fellow Scorpio. Born in Louisiana and raised in Houston, Texas, Alex draws on his Southern roots to make inclusive, approachable sex education accessible to everyone, regardless of their background or what they enjoy in the bedroom.

To learn more about Alex Hall:

Http://thebottomsdigest.com

http://youtube.com/@bottomsdigest

http://instagram.com/bottomsdigest

http://tiktok.com/@bottomsdigest

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Other links:

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Get 45% off our favorite ethical (and educatonal) porn with code PLEASURE at http://erikalust.com — that’s Erika with a K

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Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at ⁠https://swanmd.com⁠ + mention Shameless Sex for a discount

This bonus episode was recorded during a fabulous female-led (meaning women make the first move) hedonism meets glamour cruise in the gorgeous Mediterranean put on by Killing Kittens. For six days and nights Amy and her parter taught workshops such as How to Pamper Your Partner, Oral Sex 101, Dirty Talk Murder Mystery, and more - all while visiting stunning locations such as Mallorca, Monte Carlo, Florence and Portofino.

This episode includes an interview with an adventurous couple who share their experiences on their first sexy cruise. From explorations in the dungeon to working with a professional Domme to making new friends, this episode gives you a sneak peak into what really goes on behind the scenes on a female-led hedonistic cruise - Killing Kittens Style.

To learn more about Killing Kittens and their upcoming offerings (they have a number of cruises coming up in 2027 including another Mediterranean voyage - only this time it goes to Croatia!):

https://kkcruise.com

https://www.killingkittens.com

See you on the next cruise!

Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Wish List⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow us on IG ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@shamelesssexpodcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Other links:

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