Welcome to Season 2 of Apocrypals, dear Theophiloi! You know, like how every podcast does 103 regular episodes and then takes an extremely planned break of several months before returning, refreshed and renewed? It happens all the time, and it's honestly weird that you haven't heard of it. Anyway, what better way to celebrate our return than with 2 Kings, a book that is more wildly violent than every Mortal Kombat put together. Join us for a story that has multiple people exploding, our second instance of a dude being whisked up to Heaven to hang out with God, and of course, the infamous Biblical murder bears. You're 39 in the hole, Elisha. 

Topics of Discussion: A series of unfortunate events (no, really), Chris's brand-new Bible tattoo (no, REALLY), a bad look, bird poop economics, a death scene that leaves a truly perplexing quantity of body parts behind, a bold statement that might anger the "woke mob," Zedekiah's Bad Day, the Tingler. 

Hymnal: "Two Kings" by Tenacious D, "Mamma Mia" by by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church  (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17