Whatever happened to Ecogeek? If humans colonized Mars, would there be a pope of Mars? Are certain types of protein more effective for humans? Did AFC Wimbledon get… good? How do elephants walk around on their squishy feet? What are the godly hours? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Have Hank and John’s opinions of Elon Musk changed over the years? How do I not wallow in despair after losing my job? How do you start writing someone’s biography? How does file compression work? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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Is it socially appropriate to cover my ears and go “ahhhhhh?” Where did all the water on Mars go? How do I deal with friends who disrespect my favorite singer? Why are there perfectly uniform bubbles in my soap? Why don’t people just take the bribe and not do the corruption?  Should we abandon social media platforms? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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Can gasses other than oxygen be fuel for fire? What happens to your internal organs after giving birth? How does copper work? How do other animals deal with umbilical cords?  What would happen if we got our tailbones removed? …Hank and Deboki have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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How do you plan for the year ahead? Where is John going on tour? Why do my hands clap louder when freshly lotioned? How do I deal with getting a bad grade? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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Is the “Indianapolis Cocktail” actually served in Indianapolis? What do I do with my life? How do I entertain my friend in the hospital? What’s up with the lyrics in "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?” …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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If I make two cups of tea with the same leaves, am I ingesting twice the caffeine? Should I get a “This Machine Kills Facists” laptop sticker in 2024? When did starlings show up in America?  What should I do with the leftover cups from Costco chocolate parfait deserts? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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What do Hank and John look like?  What do Americans know about Australia?  Why is there not a cure for cancer? What do I do with having too many books? What’s the difference between a non-profit and a business that gives its profit to charity? What age are dead people? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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Why are people on Goodreads so angry? Can you gift a subscription on good.store? Can I read Everything is Tuberculosis if I’m squeamish?  Are there different levels of oxygen in the atmosphere during different seasons? Is it true that ponderosa pines can’t reproduce without wildfires? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

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Why do Hank and John keep things PG?  Why are white sheets the standard ghost costume?  How will computers deal with dates beyond the year 9999?  If the president was allergic to peanuts, would the White House become a peanut-free zone?  In the Garfield comic strip, can John understand what Garfield is thinking? …Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected].

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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