‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello, wot’s going on ‘ere then? Looks and sounds like there are three english men crammed inside one english cupboard talking about a series of “board games” from who knows where. That’s a recipe for disease-based disaster right there. City of the Big Shoulders? You’re certainly crammed shoulder-to-shoulder in here, though one of you is a bit smaller than the others. I’ve heard it’s as good an economic euro as any, though I, for one, prefer my commodity speculation games a little less beige. Last Bastion? I’ve heard that one’s a pretty dandy co-operative game, but personally I felt the fantasy redesign was a little lacking.

Wait, I swear on me nan’s ghost that I saw more games in here when I first burst in. Are you hiding ‘em? What’s that on there? Is that a game on your mobile device, Mr Lees? Is it Vlaada Chvatil’s classic tableau-builder, Through The Ages? You of all people should know those is contraband, as they remind people of ‘the time before’, when they could play games with their friends around their tables spreading all their germs. Not any more. You’re going to prison, but seen as we can’t go outside, I’m locking you in your own dishwasher. It’s for the best.