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109. Why Do You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners? | Genell Gorman
Your childhood doesn’t disappear when you start dating...it gets activated.
In this episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, I am joined by attachment and relational healing coach Genell Gorman for a candid, unscripted conversation focused on mother wounds, father wounds, attachment styles, CPTSD, and how early emotional experiences shape adult relationships.
Together, we explore...
• The “oh sh*t” moment when you realize your dating patterns mirror childhood wounds
• How emotionally unavailable parents create anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles
• Trauma bonding vs. genuine chemistry
• Why chaos can be mistaken for love and how to break that cycle
• Healing without becoming emotionally armored or hyper-independent
• Whether you need to “heal first” or if heal occurs through relationships
• Reparenting, nervous system regulation, and reclaiming your personal power
This episode is for anyone navigating dating, intimacy, or healing, who is tired of repeating the same story and ready to choose love from a place regulation rather than longing.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & grounding
02:20 The “oh sh*t” moment — childhood shaping adult love
05:50 Father wounds & emotionally unavailable partners
09:40 Loss, abandonment, & nervous system imprinting
13:20 Trauma bonding & attraction to unavailable partners
17:30 CPTSD, codependency, & self-abandonment
22:00 Anxious vs. avoidant dynamics
27:30 Isolation, hyper-independence, & fears of intimacy
32:00 Chemistry vs slow-burn safety
36:00 Chaos does not equal love
41:00 Cutting off parents vs. establishing boundaries & compassion
47:30 Inner child healing & reparenting
51:30 Can relationships heal us?
55:00 Final reflections & encouragement
Connect with Genell:
https://www.genellgorman.com/
https://www.instagram.com/genell.gorman/
Connect with Kristin:
Website
Instagram
YouTube
Kristin’s Best-Selling Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul (Amazon)
Spotify Audiobook
Subscribe to the Pod:
YouTube
Spotify
Apple
Peptides:
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell
Microdose 🍄
https://myfeelium.co/
password: opensesame
Code: kristin20 for 20% off
WAANDS – 10% off pleasure goodies
Code: SEXDRUGSSOUL
Support the Pod:
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell
View all episodes
By Kristin BirdwellYour childhood doesn’t disappear when you start dating...it gets activated.
In this episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, I am joined by attachment and relational healing coach Genell Gorman for a candid, unscripted conversation focused on mother wounds, father wounds, attachment styles, CPTSD, and how early emotional experiences shape adult relationships.
Together, we explore...
• The “oh sh*t” moment when you realize your dating patterns mirror childhood wounds
• How emotionally unavailable parents create anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles
• Trauma bonding vs. genuine chemistry
• Why chaos can be mistaken for love and how to break that cycle
• Healing without becoming emotionally armored or hyper-independent
• Whether you need to “heal first” or if heal occurs through relationships
• Reparenting, nervous system regulation, and reclaiming your personal power
This episode is for anyone navigating dating, intimacy, or healing, who is tired of repeating the same story and ready to choose love from a place regulation rather than longing.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & grounding
02:20 The “oh sh*t” moment — childhood shaping adult love
05:50 Father wounds & emotionally unavailable partners
09:40 Loss, abandonment, & nervous system imprinting
13:20 Trauma bonding & attraction to unavailable partners
17:30 CPTSD, codependency, & self-abandonment
22:00 Anxious vs. avoidant dynamics
27:30 Isolation, hyper-independence, & fears of intimacy
32:00 Chemistry vs slow-burn safety
36:00 Chaos does not equal love
41:00 Cutting off parents vs. establishing boundaries & compassion
47:30 Inner child healing & reparenting
51:30 Can relationships heal us?
55:00 Final reflections & encouragement
Connect with Genell:
https://www.genellgorman.com/
https://www.instagram.com/genell.gorman/
Connect with Kristin:
Website
Instagram
YouTube
Kristin’s Best-Selling Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul (Amazon)
Spotify Audiobook
Subscribe to the Pod:
YouTube
Spotify
Apple
Peptides:
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell
Microdose 🍄
https://myfeelium.co/
password: opensesame
Code: kristin20 for 20% off
WAANDS – 10% off pleasure goodies
Code: SEXDRUGSSOUL
Support the Pod:
Venmo: @hillbilly-healer
PayPal: @KristinBirdwellLLC
CashApp: $KristinBirdwell