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What happens when you love your partner deeply but your desires don’t quite match?

Amanda Dames, the Kink Consultant, certified sexologist, sex and relationship coach, and former professional dominatrix, joins for a candid conversation about kink, intimacy, sexual desire, communication, consent, trust, and shame.

Amanda shares how she went from working at The Wall Street Journal to becoming a professional dominatrix in New York City and eventually helping individuals and couples navigate mismatched desires, fantasies, fetishes, BDSM, and deeper intimacy.

In this episode, we explore...

• Why it can feel so difficult to tell your partner what you actually want
• How to talk about sexual fantasies without creating pressure
• Why understanding the feeling beneath a kink can change the conversation
• The difference between a kink and a fetish
• Whether kink is always connected to trauma
• Sexual shame and the fear of being judged or rejected
• The connection between neurodivergence, sensory play, and BDSM
• Why kink may have a major “PR problem”
• Female dominance, power, and stepping into authority
• Amanda’s own 24/7 Dom/sub relationship
• How consent and boundaries can create deeper trust and intimacy
• How owning your desires can build confidence far beyond the bedroom

One of the biggest takeaways? Sharing a fantasy doesn’t mean it has to become reality. Sometimes it gets explored physically. Sometimes it lives in dirty talk. And sometimes simply telling the truth about your desires can deepen a relationship.

Ultimately, this conversation goes far beyond kink. It’s about emotional safety, honest communication, self-trust, and creating relationships where both people can feel fully seen without making the other person responsible for fulfilling every desire.

If you’re curious or have ever struggled with mismatched sexual desires, kink, BDSM, fantasies, consent, sexual shame, communication, or creating deeper intimacy with your partner, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Amanda at amandadames.com, follow @the_kinkconsultant on Instagram, and listen to The Kink Consultant Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

Resources for Couples:

• Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
• BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

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Sex, Drugs, & Soul is where intimacy, desire, spirituality, sexuality, and the beautifully messy art of being human collide.

Hosted by author, intimacy mentor, and professional line-blurrer between the profane and the profound, Kristin Birdwell, this podcast is for people who want more than a life that simply looks good. We're talking about the stuff that makes you feel fully alive: deeper connection, better relationships, eroticism, vulnerability, personal growth, spirituality, tantra, psychedelics, kink, pleasure, purpose... and yes, occasionally devil dick energy. 😈

Around here, no topic is too spicy, too weird, or too human.

You'll hear honest conversations about what we really desire, why vulnerability is the gateway to intimacy, how our relationships change when we stop performing and start telling the truth, and what happens when sexuality and spirituality are allowed to exist in the same damn room.

We explore everything from tantric intimacy and erotic reclamation to psychedelic healing, unconventional relationships, grief, creativity, consciousness, self-discovery, and those glorious existential moments when you suddenly wonder: what the fuck am I doing with my life?

And maybe the goal isn't becoming more impressive, more enlightened, or more perfect... It's about becoming 100% human.

Welcome to Sex, Drugs, & Soul, where the sacred gets spicy, the personal growth gets real, & the self-discovery comes with a side of mischief.. 🔥

Follow the show and come get weird, wise, and wildly alive.

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Sex, Drugs, & Soul is where intimacy, desire, spirituality, sexuality, and the beautifully messy art of being human collide.

Hosted by author, intimacy mentor, and professional line-blurrer between the profane and the profound, Kristin Birdwell, this podcast is for people who want more than a life that simply looks good. We're talking about the stuff that makes you feel fully alive: deeper connection, better relationships, eroticism, vulnerability, personal growth, spirituality, tantra, psychedelics, kink, pleasure, purpose... and yes, occasionally devil dick energy. 😈

Around here, no topic is too sacred, too spicy, too weird, or too human.

You'll hear honest conversations about what we really desire, why vulnerability is the gateway to intimacy, how our relationships change when we stop performing and start telling the truth, and what happens when sexuality and spirituality are allowed to exist in the same damn room.

We explore everything from tantric intimacy and erotic reclamation to psychedelic healing, unconventional relationships, grief, creativity, consciousness, self-discovery, and those glorious existential moments when you suddenly wonder: what the fuck am I doing with my life?

Because your desires are rarely just about what you think you want.

And maybe the goal isn't becoming more impressive, more enlightened, or more perfect. Maybe it’s becoming 100% human.

Welcome to Sex, Drugs, & Soul, where the sacred gets spicy. 🔥

Follow the show and come get weird, wise, and wildly alive with us.

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What happens when you’ve gotten pretty damn good at achieving but start wondering if success and fulfillment are actually the same thing?

I sit down with James McCrae, poet, author, viral creator, creative entrepreneur, and former Madison Avenue brand strategis, to talk creativity, purpose, psychedelics, spirituality, and what it means to become a little more human in a world obsessed with optimization. 

We get into mushrooms in Central Park, ayahuasca, creativity as therapy, trusting the muse, spirituality without the dogma, and whether our best ideas come from us or through us. James also shares how losing his advertising job helped launch his creative career, his take on AI as assistant rather than artist, and the wild story behind Instructions Before Visiting Earth—the poem that unexpectedly reached more than 100 million people and is becoming a full poetry collection in 2027. 

Plus: ego death vs. orgasm, the best drug for creativity, aliens, dance-floor salvation, and one of my favorite ideas from the episode:

Maybe being human is the next enlightenment.

Instructions for Visiting Earth Poem 

Connect with James:
Website: https://www.jamesmccrae.com/
Substack: https://substack.com/@jamesmccrae
IG: @wordsarevibrations
Sunflower Club: @sunflower.club.creative

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What happens when fear gets turned down and couples finally say the things they've been afraid to say?

Jonathan Robinson, former psychotherapist, bestselling author, and longtime pioneer in MDMA-assisted work, joins to explore the intersection of MDMA, trauma, couples therapy, sex, intimacy, and emotional healing.

Jonathan shares how his work with MDMA began in the 1980s, why he believes it can help couples move through long-standing resentment and communication breakdowns, and what happens when people suddenly feel safe enough to talk openly about sex, money, infidelity, trauma, and unmet desires.

We get into sexless marriages, mismatched libidos, attachment patterns, empathy versus “fixing,” why couples get caught in what Jonathan calls the “misery go-round,” how some relationships reconnect...while others realize it may be time to lovingly separate.

Chapters:
00:00 — From Therapy to MDMA
03:33 — What MDMA Does to Fear
06:51 — The Relationship Misery Go-Round
10:35 — MDMA & Sexual Trauma
17:14 — When Talk Therapy Isn't Enough
19:06 — The Best Night of Their Marriage
21:35 — When Couples Choose to Separate
26:46 — Sex, Lies & Radical Honesty
29:34 — The Communication Tool Couples Need
32:47 — Talking About What You Want in Bed
38:01 — Empathy, Intimacy, & Sexless Marriage
40:24 — The Future of MDMA Therapy

Connect with Jonathan:
mdmatraining.net (coupon code: OFF200)
xtcforcouples.net

Jonathan's Books:
Ecstasy as Medicine: How MDMA therapy Can Help You Overcome Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression...and Feel More Love

Ecstasy For Couples: How MDMA Therapy Can Create More Love and Less Conflict In Your Relationship 

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What happens when a woman stops viewing her body through everyone else’s eyes and begins seeing herself as art?

In this episode, I’m joined by ritual artist and pleasure weaver Khadoma Colomby to talk about pussy portraits, healing sexual shame, erotic embodiment, womb wisdom, and what it means to reclaim the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide.

Khadoma shares how she transforms images of women’s vulvas into deeply personal works of art and how the process becomes a ritual of reconnecting with a part of the body many women have been taught to hide, judge, change, or reserve for someone else’s pleasure.

We explore how women become disconnected from their bodies, why fully expressed women can be so confronting, and what changes when a woman begins treating her pleasure, sexuality, and life-force energy as her own.

Khadoma also shares her simple three-song Tending Your Turn-On practice, designed to help you reconnect with your emotional landscape, awaken sensuality through self-touch, and invite more energy and pleasure into your day.

Enjoy, darlin'. 

Timestamps:
00:00 — Feminine Reclamation
01:30 — Khadoma’s Journey Into the Divine Feminine
03:00 — The Inspiration Behind the Portraits
05:17 — The Holy Harlot and Reclaiming Sexuality
06:15 — Healing Shame Through Ritual and Art
11:37 — Eros, Consent, and Listening to the Body
13:23 — Erotic Energy as Life Force
14:53 — The Three-Song Tending Your Turn-On Practice
17:25 — Pleasure, Magnetism, and Embodiment
20:33 — Why Fully Expressed Women Are Confronting
23:42 — Untaming Women’s Emotional Wilderness
24:49 — Women Aren’t Meant to Be the Same Every Day
28:10 — What to Do When You Feel Disconnected
29:33 — Womb Wisdom and the Inner Temple
31:21 — Menstrual Cycles, Relationships, and Perimenopause
33:00 — Fertility, Aging, and the Body’s Timeline
35:08 — Reclaiming Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond
37:17 — Fun and Spicy Lightning Round

Connect with Khadoma:
Website: https://www.khadomacolomby.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/khadoma_colomby/

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This week, I chat with Temptress Pixie, erotic writer, kink educator, dominatrix, and open relationship expert, to explore a world that's often misunderstood. We talked about BDSM, power exchange, pegging, tantra, conscious domination, submission, nervous system regulation, and how kink can become a profound path toward healing.

Whether you're deeply immersed in kink or curious about why so many people find freedom through conscious power dynamics, this conversation goes way beyond whips and chains.

We also get into...
• how she accidentally discovered BDSM through Rihanna's S&M song
• the surprising journey from lifelong submissive to dominatrix
• why communication is the sexiest foreplay
• how fantasy conversations can strengthen relationships
• what tantra and BDSM actually have in common
• why pegging carries so much unnecessary shame
• how play helps us reconnect with parts of ourselves we've forgotten
• and why pleasure, healing, and spirituality might all be speaking the same language.

As always...take what resonates, leave the rest, and stay curious.

Watch the episode on YouTube. 

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and guest introduction
01:21 How Timtress Pixie discovered BDSM
03:32 Defining BDSM and kink
04:25 Range of interests in BDSM and kink
05:58 Submissive and dominant roles explained
07:07 Pain, confidence, and power exchange
09:17 The story of the switch to dominance
11:53 Creative role play and trust
14:56 Evolving into full dominance
17:55 The importance of play and imagination
22:40 Daddy and Mommy Dom roles
26:01 BDSM as therapy and emotional healing
27:38 Tantra and energy work in BDSM
32:58 Journey into different BDSM styles and tools
36:55 Pegging: Tips, conversations, and overcoming shame
44:53 Prostate play, anal exploration, and tantra

Connect with Temptress Pixie:
IG: @temptress.pixie & @enm_diaries

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This episode is brought to you by... tacos & tequila. 🤪

After a couple of anejos, addiction therapist C.R. Herro joins me for a candid conversation about dopamine, addiction, fantasy, and why we so often find ourselves chasing the very things that keep us stuck.

We explore:
• What addiction really is (and why it's more common than you think)
• The difference between guilt and shame... and why it matters
• Why we stay in relationships that hurt us
• The hidden addiction to productivity, achievement, and external validation
• Fantasy vs. authentic intimacy
• Dating in the age of AI
• What it actually means to live authentically

Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
02:18 The Real Definition of Addiction
07:42 Dopamine, Survival, & Your Brain
14:35 Why We Repeat Self-Destructive Behaviors
21:58 Accountability vs. Excuses
29:41 Addiction to Success & Validation
37:56 Guilt & Shame Explained
45:10 Why Toxic Relationships Feel Addictive
52:44 Fantasy vs. Authentic Love 

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This week, I'm joined by Dr. Veda, acupuncturist, frequency medicine practitioner, pleasure pioneer, host of Quantumly Kinky, and one of my favorite new friends.

We Explore... 
- Acupuncture, Sexual Vitality, & the Erotic Intelligence of Your Nervous System
- How to live a more turned-on life
- Curiosity as a philosophy & the importance of play
- Metaphysics, manifestation, & multidimensional living
- How acupuncture is frequency medicine
 - Existential Kink: the framework that will make you ask "wait, what part of me actually wants this?" (aka what your shadow secretly enjoys)
- Sexual avatars and how they come online for women
- Her podcast Quantumly Kinky, aka the sexy sermon your Sunday morning needs

Timestamps:
00:00 Intro & Internet Friendship Origin
05:00 Questioning Religion & Finding Spirituality
09:00 Childhood Play Before Social Media
13:30 Sexuality Without Shame
18:00 90s TV, Sex & The City & Sexual Archetypes
23:00 First Heartbreak & Relationship Books
31:00 The Secret, Abraham Hicks & Conscious Creation
35:00 The Seth Material & Multidimensional Reality
38:00 Frequency Medicine Explained
41:00 Acupuncture as Frequency Medicine
46:00 Discovering Esoteric Acupuncture
50:00 The Frequency of Your Future Self
53:00 Breathwork & Receiving Intuition
56:00 Wellness Culture & Biohacking Burnout
1:00:00 How to Get Turned On By Judgment
1:02:00 Existential Kink Explained
1:07:00 Quantumly Kinky & Creating a Podcast
1:10:00 Final Reflections & Turned-On Living

If you've been craving more aliveness, more presence, more pleasure... press play to become more turned on by life.

Connect with Dr. Veda:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.sarahveda
Website: https://turnedonclinic.com/

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On this pod, I chat with Francesca Barone for one of the most unexpectedly grounding conversations around psychedelics and healing.

Francesca runs a retreat center (Anam Cara) with Shipibo healers from the Amazon and describes a way of sitting with ayahuasca that feels like a warm, peaceful journey.

We unpack:

•  Francesca’s journey from addiction & autoimmune illness into plant medicine work 
•  What ayahuasca actually is without the spiritual fluff
•  How modern psychedelic culture sometimes creates more dysregulation instead of healing 
•  Poorly held ceremonies & psychedelic trauma 
•  Why nervous system regulation matters before the ceremony 
•  The role embodiment plays in healing 
•  How women disconnect from intuition 
•  The difference between performing spirituality vs. embodying truth 
•  Integration after ceremonies & why support matters 
•  The exhaustion of hiding parts of ourselves 

Timestamps
00:00: The intuitive nudge that started it all
11:29: Embodiment before ceremony
26:00: Psychedelic trauma 
31:55: Fear of Ayahuasca
44:06: Integration: what it is, what it isn’t, and why community is everything
50:29: Listening to your intuition
53:35: Showing up in the mess: feminine connection, authenticity, and blocked intimacy
58:49: Embodying the full range of femininity

Connect with Francesca:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/followyour_bliss_
https://www.instagram.com/anamcararetreats/
https://www.anamcarahealingretreats.com/

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