Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

You can be loved by someone and still not feel it. Michelle Coutinho says that's not a mystery...it's the mask. When you show up as the version of you that gets approval, the love coming at you has nothing real to land on.

Michelle is a vocal empowerment coach and one of the few people I know who can say "mutual worship" with a straight face and make you want it. We get into why reverence is the missing ingredient in modern relationships, why successful people who "have it all" keep confessing they're not happy, and how the voice works as a portal to the parts of you that have been contracted since childhood. Then, she walks me through a rewilding exercise live, and I make sounds I'd rather you didn't hear.

In this episode:
• Why intimacy "deflects completely" when you're wearing a mask and what "meet every moment as new" actually asks of you
• Mutual worship: the difference between power games (over, under, transactional) and circular leadership in a relationship
• "Cancel culture is not leadership" & how arguing about the path to unity creates more separation
• The voice as a fingerprint: koshas, samskaras, and why your voice drops when you land in your body
• Why high achievers can't receive and what happens when a corporate type is finally held with no expectation to give back
• "If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it." — the lesson Michelle got from a psychic attack in a 2017 ayahuasca ceremony
• Masculine & feminine 101: the pillar who "can slaughter you with a gaze," the wild feminine, and why structure lets creativity flow
• A two-minute rewilding practice you can do in the car (pull over first)

Try this tonight: put your hands on your hips, rock your pelvis in a slow circle, and let that part of your body make whatever sound it wants. It won't be pretty. That's the point.

Connect with Michelle:
Website: michellecoutinho.com
Instagram: @michelleinfinity
Her Surrender course (masculine & feminine embodiment training) opens next year — apply through the gold button on her site.

Housekeeping: The YouTube channel is changing to my name, Kristin Birdwell. Same show, same episodes, more reach. And my writing course is live — use code IAMFREE for 25% off: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin

Support the show

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Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
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Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

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What if the thing keeping you from real intimacy isn’t your sex life... it's the version of yourself you’re performing inside it?

Therapist C.R. Herro is back on Sex, Drugs & Soul, and this conversation dives straight into the messy middle of sex, addiction, relationships, self-worth, and our desire to be seen.

We unpack how so many of us learn to perform for love long before we ever enter the bedroom and how those patterns can follow us into dating, relationships, and sexuality.

C.R. and I talk about...
• Why external validation can quietly sabotage intimacy
• The difference between authentic sexual expression and performative sex
• Why orgasm, intensity, desirability, or being “good in bed” can become ego-driven
• Love addiction, love avoidance, and how the two can feed each other
• Why the intention underneath a behavior matters more than the behavior itself
• How childhood conditioning around worthiness can shape adult relationships
• What healthy intimacy actually looks like: boundaries, honesty, reciprocity, positive intent, and authenticity
• Why recovery from sex addiction can require temporarily taking sex off the table
• Relearning intimacy through connection outside the bedroom
• FANOS, "the last hug ever,” and other ways to practice being genuinely present with a partner
• Why healing can change the shape of your “puzzle piece” and how not everyone will fit anymore

We also get into the loneliness that can come with becoming more honest, selective, and intentional about who gets access to you.

Because being desired isn't the same as being known. And if someone is falling in love with the mask you created to feel safe, you may end up lonely underneath it. 

This one is about taking the mask off, telling yourself the truth, and creating relationships and sex that actually have a chance of nourishing you.

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

Is casual sex really casual?

Helena Herndon is back on Sex, Drugs & Soul, and this time we’re going deeper into sexual energy, modern intimacy, feminine and masculine dynamics, BDSM, boundaries, surrender, and what happens when your relationship asks you to become less of who you are.

Helena works in sexual empowerment, sacred sexuality, intuitive coaching, and BDSM, with much of her work focused on helping men understand their desires, sexual energy, vulnerability, and power. Her perspective? Sexual energy doesn’t stay neatly contained in the bedroom. How connected, or disconnected, we are from desire can ripple into our relationships, work, leadership, creativity, and sense of self.

We get into...
• Why Helena believes there’s no such thing as truly “casual” sex
• Sexual energy, energetic boundaries, cord cutting, and clearing after relationships
• Why Helena says to “throw yourself a funeral” for what’s truly over
• Modern dating, privacy, and when someone has officially earned a spot on the Instagram grid
• Sexual dysregulation and how disconnection in the bedroom can show up in the boardroom
• Self-pleasure as a practice of self-connection rather than performance
• The difference between compromise, co-creation, and surrender in relationships
• Why judgment can kill desire and make true erotic intimacy impossible
• BDSM as negotiation, communication, vulnerability, and power exchange
• Why some highly successful men crave submission & why Helena sees surrender as potentially empowering rather than emasculating
• Staying sovereign while building something bigger than yourself with another person
• Fantasies, first-date kisses, emotional availability, attraction, and a particularly unhinged lightning round

Ultimately, this is a conversation about becoming more, not less, yourself inside intimacy.

Because maybe the goal isn’t to find someone you can disappear into.
Maybe it’s to create a relationship where both people remain fully themselves…and build a world together that neither could have created alone.

Connect with Helena:
Instagram
Website - https://www.helenaherndon.com/

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

What happens when you love your partner deeply but your desires don’t quite match?

Amanda Dames, the Kink Consultant, certified sexologist, sex and relationship coach, and former professional dominatrix, joins for a candid conversation about kink, intimacy, sexual desire, communication, consent, trust, and shame.

Amanda shares how she went from working at The Wall Street Journal to becoming a professional dominatrix in New York City and eventually helping individuals and couples navigate mismatched desires, fantasies, fetishes, BDSM, and deeper intimacy.

In this episode, we explore...

• Why it can feel so difficult to tell your partner what you actually want
• How to talk about sexual fantasies without creating pressure
• Why understanding the feeling beneath a kink can change the conversation
• The difference between a kink and a fetish
• Whether kink is always connected to trauma
• Sexual shame and the fear of being judged or rejected
• The connection between neurodivergence, sensory play, and BDSM
• Why kink may have a major “PR problem”
• Female dominance, power, and stepping into authority
• Amanda’s own 24/7 Dom/sub relationship
• How consent and boundaries can create deeper trust and intimacy
• How owning your desires can build confidence far beyond the bedroom

One of the biggest takeaways? Sharing a fantasy doesn’t mean it has to become reality. Sometimes it gets explored physically. Sometimes it lives in dirty talk. And sometimes simply telling the truth about your desires can deepen a relationship.

Ultimately, this conversation goes far beyond kink. It’s about emotional safety, honest communication, self-trust, and creating relationships where both people can feel fully seen without making the other person responsible for fulfilling every desire.

If you’re curious or have ever struggled with mismatched sexual desires, kink, BDSM, fantasies, consent, sexual shame, communication, or creating deeper intimacy with your partner, this episode is for you.

Learn more about Amanda at amandadames.com, follow @the_kinkconsultant on Instagram, and listen to The Kink Consultant Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

Resources for Couples:

• Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
• BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

Sex, Drugs, & Soul is where intimacy, desire, spirituality, sexuality, and the beautifully messy art of being human collide.

Hosted by author, intimacy mentor, and professional line-blurrer between the profane and the profound, Kristin Birdwell, this podcast is for people who want more than a life that simply looks good. We're talking about the stuff that makes you feel fully alive: deeper connection, better relationships, eroticism, vulnerability, personal growth, spirituality, tantra, psychedelics, kink, pleasure, purpose... and yes, occasionally devil dick energy. 😈

Around here, no topic is too spicy, too weird, or too human.

You'll hear honest conversations about what we really desire, why vulnerability is the gateway to intimacy, how our relationships change when we stop performing and start telling the truth, and what happens when sexuality and spirituality are allowed to exist in the same damn room.

We explore everything from tantric intimacy and erotic reclamation to psychedelic healing, unconventional relationships, grief, creativity, consciousness, self-discovery, and those glorious existential moments when you suddenly wonder: what the fuck am I doing with my life?

And maybe the goal isn't becoming more impressive, more enlightened, or more perfect... It's about becoming 100% human.

Welcome to Sex, Drugs, & Soul, where the sacred gets spicy, the personal growth gets real, & the self-discovery comes with a side of mischief.. 🔥

Follow the show and come get weird, wise, and wildly alive.

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Subscribe to Pod:
YouTube
Spotify
Apple

Sex, Drugs, & Soul is where intimacy, desire, spirituality, sexuality, and the beautifully messy art of being human collide.

Hosted by author, intimacy mentor, and professional line-blurrer between the profane and the profound, Kristin Birdwell, this podcast is for people who want more than a life that simply looks good. We're talking about the stuff that makes you feel fully alive: deeper connection, better relationships, eroticism, vulnerability, personal growth, spirituality, tantra, psychedelics, kink, pleasure, purpose... and yes, occasionally devil dick energy. 😈

Around here, no topic is too sacred, too spicy, too weird, or too human.

You'll hear honest conversations about what we really desire, why vulnerability is the gateway to intimacy, how our relationships change when we stop performing and start telling the truth, and what happens when sexuality and spirituality are allowed to exist in the same damn room.

We explore everything from tantric intimacy and erotic reclamation to psychedelic healing, unconventional relationships, grief, creativity, consciousness, self-discovery, and those glorious existential moments when you suddenly wonder: what the fuck am I doing with my life?

Because your desires are rarely just about what you think you want.

And maybe the goal isn't becoming more impressive, more enlightened, or more perfect. Maybe it’s becoming 100% human.

Welcome to Sex, Drugs, & Soul, where the sacred gets spicy. 🔥

Follow the show and come get weird, wise, and wildly alive with us.

Support the show

Connect with Kristin:
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Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul
Spotify Audiobook

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Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
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Microdose 🍄
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Code: kristin20 for 20% off

Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

What happens when you’ve gotten pretty damn good at achieving but start wondering if success and fulfillment are actually the same thing?

I sit down with James McCrae, poet, author, viral creator, creative entrepreneur, and former Madison Avenue brand strategis, to talk creativity, purpose, psychedelics, spirituality, and what it means to become a little more human in a world obsessed with optimization. 

We get into mushrooms in Central Park, ayahuasca, creativity as therapy, trusting the muse, spirituality without the dogma, and whether our best ideas come from us or through us. James also shares how losing his advertising job helped launch his creative career, his take on AI as assistant rather than artist, and the wild story behind Instructions Before Visiting Earth—the poem that unexpectedly reached more than 100 million people and is becoming a full poetry collection in 2027. 

Plus: ego death vs. orgasm, the best drug for creativity, aliens, dance-floor salvation, and one of my favorite ideas from the episode:

Maybe being human is the next enlightenment.

Instructions for Visiting Earth Poem 

Connect with James:
Website: https://www.jamesmccrae.com/
Substack: https://substack.com/@jamesmccrae
IG: @wordsarevibrations
Sunflower Club: @sunflower.club.creative

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

What happens when fear gets turned down and couples finally say the things they've been afraid to say?

Jonathan Robinson, former psychotherapist, bestselling author, and longtime pioneer in MDMA-assisted work, joins to explore the intersection of MDMA, trauma, couples therapy, sex, intimacy, and emotional healing.

Jonathan shares how his work with MDMA began in the 1980s, why he believes it can help couples move through long-standing resentment and communication breakdowns, and what happens when people suddenly feel safe enough to talk openly about sex, money, infidelity, trauma, and unmet desires.

We get into sexless marriages, mismatched libidos, attachment patterns, empathy versus “fixing,” why couples get caught in what Jonathan calls the “misery go-round,” how some relationships reconnect...while others realize it may be time to lovingly separate.

Chapters:
00:00 — From Therapy to MDMA
03:33 — What MDMA Does to Fear
06:51 — The Relationship Misery Go-Round
10:35 — MDMA & Sexual Trauma
17:14 — When Talk Therapy Isn't Enough
19:06 — The Best Night of Their Marriage
21:35 — When Couples Choose to Separate
26:46 — Sex, Lies & Radical Honesty
29:34 — The Communication Tool Couples Need
32:47 — Talking About What You Want in Bed
38:01 — Empathy, Intimacy, & Sexless Marriage
40:24 — The Future of MDMA Therapy

Connect with Jonathan:
mdmatraining.net (coupon code: OFF200)
xtcforcouples.net

Jonathan's Books:
Ecstasy as Medicine: How MDMA therapy Can Help You Overcome Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression...and Feel More Love

Ecstasy For Couples: How MDMA Therapy Can Create More Love and Less Conflict In Your Relationship 

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Subscribe to Pod:
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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

What happens when a woman stops viewing her body through everyone else’s eyes and begins seeing herself as art?

In this episode, I’m joined by ritual artist and pleasure weaver Khadoma Colomby to talk about pussy portraits, healing sexual shame, erotic embodiment, womb wisdom, and what it means to reclaim the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide.

Khadoma shares how she transforms images of women’s vulvas into deeply personal works of art and how the process becomes a ritual of reconnecting with a part of the body many women have been taught to hide, judge, change, or reserve for someone else’s pleasure.

We explore how women become disconnected from their bodies, why fully expressed women can be so confronting, and what changes when a woman begins treating her pleasure, sexuality, and life-force energy as her own.

Khadoma also shares her simple three-song Tending Your Turn-On practice, designed to help you reconnect with your emotional landscape, awaken sensuality through self-touch, and invite more energy and pleasure into your day.

Enjoy, darlin'. 

Timestamps:
00:00 — Feminine Reclamation
01:30 — Khadoma’s Journey Into the Divine Feminine
03:00 — The Inspiration Behind the Portraits
05:17 — The Holy Harlot and Reclaiming Sexuality
06:15 — Healing Shame Through Ritual and Art
11:37 — Eros, Consent, and Listening to the Body
13:23 — Erotic Energy as Life Force
14:53 — The Three-Song Tending Your Turn-On Practice
17:25 — Pleasure, Magnetism, and Embodiment
20:33 — Why Fully Expressed Women Are Confronting
23:42 — Untaming Women’s Emotional Wilderness
24:49 — Women Aren’t Meant to Be the Same Every Day
28:10 — What to Do When You Feel Disconnected
29:33 — Womb Wisdom and the Inner Temple
31:21 — Menstrual Cycles, Relationships, and Perimenopause
33:00 — Fertility, Aging, and the Body’s Timeline
35:08 — Reclaiming Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond
37:17 — Fun and Spicy Lightning Round

Connect with Khadoma:
Website: https://www.khadomacolomby.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/khadoma_colomby/

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
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Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Subscribe to Pod:
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Have a question or comment? Send it to Kristin!

This week, I chat with Temptress Pixie, erotic writer, kink educator, dominatrix, and open relationship expert, to explore a world that's often misunderstood. We talked about BDSM, power exchange, pegging, tantra, conscious domination, submission, nervous system regulation, and how kink can become a profound path toward healing.

Whether you're deeply immersed in kink or curious about why so many people find freedom through conscious power dynamics, this conversation goes way beyond whips and chains.

We also get into...
• how she accidentally discovered BDSM through Rihanna's S&M song
• the surprising journey from lifelong submissive to dominatrix
• why communication is the sexiest foreplay
• how fantasy conversations can strengthen relationships
• what tantra and BDSM actually have in common
• why pegging carries so much unnecessary shame
• how play helps us reconnect with parts of ourselves we've forgotten
• and why pleasure, healing, and spirituality might all be speaking the same language.

As always...take what resonates, leave the rest, and stay curious.

Watch the episode on YouTube. 

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and guest introduction
01:21 How Timtress Pixie discovered BDSM
03:32 Defining BDSM and kink
04:25 Range of interests in BDSM and kink
05:58 Submissive and dominant roles explained
07:07 Pain, confidence, and power exchange
09:17 The story of the switch to dominance
11:53 Creative role play and trust
14:56 Evolving into full dominance
17:55 The importance of play and imagination
22:40 Daddy and Mommy Dom roles
26:01 BDSM as therapy and emotional healing
27:38 Tantra and energy work in BDSM
32:58 Journey into different BDSM styles and tools
36:55 Pegging: Tips, conversations, and overcoming shame
44:53 Prostate play, anal exploration, and tantra

Connect with Temptress Pixie:
IG: @temptress.pixie & @enm_diaries

Support the show

Write Your Story: https://www.kristinbirdwell.com/write-your-story-darlin
Use code IAMFREE for 25% off

Connect with Kristin:
Website: kristinbirdwell.com
Instagram: @kristinbirdwell_
Facebook
YouTube

Kristin’s Book:
Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Peptides:
Oral Quicksilver GHK/Copper Peptide
https://elliemd.com/kristinbirdwell

Subscribe to Pod:
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