Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share 11 - Radical Fear & Attachment Styles in Non-Monogamy - Shades of Pleasure Podcast
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
11 - Radical Fear & Attachment Styles in Non-Monogamy - Shades of Pleasure Podcast
August 9, 2025
Welcome to Season 2, Episode 1, Shades of Pleasure
Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.
In this Season 2 opening episode of Shades of Pleasure, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly revisit key conversations from season one on dismantling monogamy hangovers, challenging heteronormativity, and deconstructing couple privilege. They explore how attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—impact relationships, especially within non-monogamous contexts. The hosts emphasize that these styles are not fixed or inherently “bad,” but rather coping strategies rooted in early life experiences. Non-monogamy, they note, often amplifies attachment dynamics because it involves navigating multiple relationships, making emotional awareness and conscious communication essential. They caution against rigidly labeling oneself, instead encouraging the use of attachment theory as a flexible lens rather than a limiting identity.
The conversation then turns toward the deeper thread underlying attachment challenges: fear. The hosts propose reframing the work as “radical fear”—acknowledging that insecurity, avoidance, and anxiety often stem from fears about safety, abandonment, or loss. They discuss how societal conditioning, scarcity mindsets, and patriarchal norms shape relational expectations, and how non-monogamy offers opportunities to confront and unlearn these patterns. Through personal examples and client stories, they illustrate how awareness, shared language, and intentional processing can help partners break cyclical patterns, build emotional safety, and adapt outdated coping strategies. Ultimately, the episode frames both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships as fertile ground for growth—if we are willing to face our fears and approach each other with curiosity, compassion, and openness.
Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pleasureforthemasses.substack.com
View all episodes
By Shades of Pleasure Hosts Mou, Melissa, Kelly, WayneAugust 9, 2025
Welcome to Season 2, Episode 1, Shades of Pleasure
Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.
In this Season 2 opening episode of Shades of Pleasure, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly revisit key conversations from season one on dismantling monogamy hangovers, challenging heteronormativity, and deconstructing couple privilege. They explore how attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—impact relationships, especially within non-monogamous contexts. The hosts emphasize that these styles are not fixed or inherently “bad,” but rather coping strategies rooted in early life experiences. Non-monogamy, they note, often amplifies attachment dynamics because it involves navigating multiple relationships, making emotional awareness and conscious communication essential. They caution against rigidly labeling oneself, instead encouraging the use of attachment theory as a flexible lens rather than a limiting identity.
The conversation then turns toward the deeper thread underlying attachment challenges: fear. The hosts propose reframing the work as “radical fear”—acknowledging that insecurity, avoidance, and anxiety often stem from fears about safety, abandonment, or loss. They discuss how societal conditioning, scarcity mindsets, and patriarchal norms shape relational expectations, and how non-monogamy offers opportunities to confront and unlearn these patterns. Through personal examples and client stories, they illustrate how awareness, shared language, and intentional processing can help partners break cyclical patterns, build emotional safety, and adapt outdated coping strategies. Ultimately, the episode frames both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships as fertile ground for growth—if we are willing to face our fears and approach each other with curiosity, compassion, and openness.
Get full access to Shades of Pleasure Podcast at shadesofpleasure.substack.com/subscribe
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pleasureforthemasses.substack.com