The Art of We

111. Navigating Sexual Approaches: Unspoken Gender Dynamics and Trauma Triggers


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In this heartfelt episode, we explore the delicate dynamics of sexual approaches in relationships, diving into how cultural conditioning, gender roles, and personal trauma can create friction. We share our own challenges, uncovering misunderstandings and the steps we’re taking to heal and grow. If you’ve faced similar struggles or want to deepen your intimacy, this episode offers relatable insights and practical tools to foster safety, connection, and collaboration.

“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

(00:00) Setting the stage for an intimate and important conversation

(01:58) Exploring gender dynamics & cultural conditioning in sexual approaches

(03:53) Discrepancy in sexual agency: Social & cultural patterns that prioritize male desire

(07:18) Past trauma and its influence on intimacy

(11:48) Animalistic side of male sexuality and its cultural roots

(16:07) How trauma triggers show up in sexual approaches

(23:54) Tools for creating safety: Collaborating to build trust and openness in intimacy

(24:56) Scheduled intimacy vs. spontaneity

(28:32) Reflective questions for listeners to explore in their own relationship

(29:30) The importance of slowing down and co-creating safety in relationships

Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Resources Mentioned: 

  • Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
  • Episode 94: How To Prioritize Your Sex Life

Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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