me, two 10s on each arm walking into the 5 nights at freddys movie. mask firmly resting under my nose. i order 1 small popcorn and every box of junior mints they have from the back of the line without removing my bowler hat. my novelty spurs tearing up little fibers of carpet as i drag my feet towards the coke freestlye machine. "the soda in these always tastes bad" i say, coldly, not looking at anyone in particular. I fill my cup with strawberry coke zero and rootbeer without unlocking arms from either of my female companions. I take one sip and then drop the cup in front of the employee using the manual vacuum cleaner. "missed a spot pal" i say without looking at his pathetic face. I shush my women. "dont you dare laugh at him. Dont you EVER laugh at him!" i yell in her face, not sure which one chuckled.

bonus episode every week dears