Show notes:

 

• Creating Awareness When Making Choices

• • The reality is that relationships that are closed are the most intimate. It doesn't have to be romantic. It can be like a close friendship or business partnership.

  • Most people go into victim mode, and they start fighting and blaming each other for hurting.

  • The beautiful thing about a relationship is that it gives you a chance to look at that blind spot to heal.

  • As you go through that, take it as a gift to transform and heal. The benefit is that you become more aware and more conscientious of yourself.

    

• The struggle from being hurt is a gift—to rediscover you and the love that has always been there in you and never left.

• • We have this love vibration, and every single trauma or condition we have just form another layer of the onion. And that vibration of love is also the vibration that speaks to our DNA at an epigenetic level that gives us health, longevity, and performance.

  • Every chronic emotion that is not love is a human condition.

  

• Starting the Healing Process

• • Getting out there is actually healing yourself—going into your wound and facing it, processing and releasing the attachment.

 

• Sources of Trauma

• • For the avoiding personality: TWe he family environment. When you are not feeling safe expressing your emotion or even just neglected, you can't deal with this emotion, you just shut down or distract yourself.

  • For anxiety: abuse, when the other is not there for you, being alone, abandoned, and criticized, trying to get someone's attention, needing parent's approval, presence, love, and all different needs like being seen, heard, and validated, to become safe and to survive.

 

• Patterns Observed

• • It's more prevalent for men to be avoidant and women to be anxious.

  • The biggest thing to this is the emotional process, not the intellectual. To actually process that trauma and pain that comes out is to emotionally learning how to feel it and process it. 

 

• Dealing with Trigerred Criticism

• • Lean into the opposite direction of the avoidant that triggers and shuts down.

  • Let each other know and take a break.

  • Communicate, express, and if it is too much, take a break.

Bryan’s Best Medicine: My wife. For a relationship to work, there should be love and growth, and you can surpass all those things.