Today, I want to dive into a topic that has come up quite a bit not only in my coaching conversations, but in my own personal life, and definitely in a lot of social media posts – emotional consent. Many of us are guilty of picking up the phone and venting to a friend, family member, or colleague. We've all done it, and with the pandemic, people are doing this even more, to the point where we are all just so emotionally drained. It's time we take a closer look at this increasing tendency to burden others with our troubles (and vice versa), so, in this week's episode, I'm going to discuss precisely why you need to ask permission before venting.

After providing a brief update regarding She Doesn't Settle social media, I kick off today's discussion by describing emotional consent and why it's important to seek permission before unloading your troubles on another person. Expressing ourselves is vital to our well-being, but making sure things aren't lopsided with our relationships is also essential. And so, if we don't seek permission before sharing, there's a risk that you're adding to another person's difficulties and troubles. So, together, we'll look at how to ask for emotional consent and also how to be understanding when people say 'no' or schedule another time to talk. I then transition to the people who receive the venting to talk about setting boundaries and why you need to let people know if you don't have the space or the capacity to take on their venting and dumping. I elaborate on how to do this politely and schedule a better time to listen to the unloading or give advice. Venting is a natural and necessary process for us all, especially after everything that the past two years have dumped on us, but it's so important to make sure we do it in a way that remains healthy for all involved. Listen in today to learn how to make this a reality in your life and the lives of those you care about.

As always, if there is ever a topic you would like me to discuss, a guest you'd like me to interview on the podcast, or feedback you wish to offer, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] - I would love to hear from you!

The Finer Details of This Episode:

• She Doesn't Settle social media update
• What emotional consent is
• The need to check in before you vent to another person
• How to ask for emotional consent
• The beauty of texting as a way to ask for emotional consent
• Being okay when people say no
• Setting boundaries and letting people know you don't have the capacity for their venting
• How to politely say no to the venting from other people

Quotes

"Asking for emotional consent means checking in before you actually do the dumping."

"The reason that emotional consent is important is that communication is obviously vital to our well-being. Expressing ourselves is vital to our well-being, but making sure that things aren't lopsided with our relationships is also important."

"If we don't seek permission before sharing, there's a risk that you're adding to another person's difficulties and troubles."

"If you don't stop and think about somebody else and how they're doing - maybe they're feeling unwell, and under a lot of stress, maybe they're juggling a lot - then we're not taking that into consideration."

"There's a lot to be gained for making sure both people in a relationship are supporting one another, and it might be imbalanced during different periods. So it's not always going to be this perfect balance."

"Checking in with people before unloading on them really requires emotional maturity and self-awareness."

"The best way to approach seeking consent is to reach out in a way that doesn't put the other person on the spot. That might mean texting before calling or texting before texting. The beauty of texting is that people will get to that text message when they're ready."

"We have to set those boundaries because we're all in this place where we're dealing with a lot. There's high anxiety, high emotion, and a lot of depression happening. And we have to be able to protect our own energy, our own mental health, emotional health."

"If you're not ready to deal with their stuff, telling them you're feeling a little down yourself and you're not right in that mind to give them advice is important."

"We don't know what other people are going through. So if you have emotional needs, they probably do too. So consider that before unloading."

Show Links:

Kelly's homepage - www.kellytravis.net

Social: @shedoesntsettle