as the holidays approach, it's important to remember your family and how much you failed to deliver promises you made and how many people you owe money to. you're swimming in debt, barely able to stick your penis above the water, and you're also a liar, you tell lies, and everyone knows about it. your mommy knows you're lying when you say you have a girlfriend, but she plays along anyway because it's too embarrassing to call you out on it.

happy holidays