Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

117: Don’t Take It Personally. They Are Just Words.


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You’re not reacting to what was said—you’re reacting to what you made it mean. 

As a father and husband, that story gets built fast—and it usually sounds like disrespect, doubt, or being challenged.

By the time you respond, you’re already inside your own version of the story.

Highlights:

  •  How a simple conversation about an injury turned into tension, and what actually caused it 
  •  The gap between words spoken and the story you assign underneath them 
  •  Why being right in an argument still leads to a bad outcome 
  •  The physical cues of defensiveness most men miss—and how to catch them 
  •  Rewinding the “game tape” to break patterns outside the moment 
  •  A simple shift: from proving your point to understanding the other person 

Takeaways:

  •  When you feel defensive, pause and ask: what am I making this mean? 
  •  Separate the words from the story—respond to what was said, not your interpretation 
  •  Build awareness outside the moment so you can show up differently inside it 

Pay attention to the next moment you feel the need to defend yourself. That’s your opening to handle it better.

If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation.

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Durable Dad with Tommy GearyBy Tommy Geary