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117. When Am I Going Home - Responding to This Tough Question
This question, by far, is one of the most triggering questions family members have to respond to. There are so many emotions
that spike to the surface when this is asked, and it can swirl us into
guilt, doubt, fear, sadness, anger you name it, pretty quickly.
If someone is not living with Alzheimer's or another
dementia, this usually presents as subtle jabs that can eventually be
triggering leading to explosion or argument. The bottom line is, things
are where they are for a reason or number of reasons, that are out of
our control. Our goal is to let the comments slide, be reassuring,
validate the person's emotional response to the situation, generally do
our best to not fall into the trigger trap and respond in a loving way.
The game changes when the person asking is living with dementia. It's
never a one and done conversation. They don't remember asking the
question. They're confused about what is going on. We have worked hard
to figure out this new living arrangement and get things set up, so
it's upsetting when they're repeatedly asking about going home. It's a
constant reminder that everything has changed.
We desire for them to not ask this because we want to feel a certain way.
Of course we want people to feel settled and happy. Under the best of
circumstances, a move takes time to feel settled in. When someone is
living with dementia this takes an extraordinarily longer amount of time
and in my experience, eventually, people do get there and stop asking.
Eventually.
In this episode I talk about:
This is a VERY tough time and I want to uplift that you are amazing
and doing a great job. Be kind and patient with yourself too. Do what
you need to do to take care of yourself, restore yourself, and recharge
so you can feel patient during this chapter.
www.michelemagner.com
Dementia Educators to follow:
Teepa Snow: https://www.instagram.com/teepasnows_pac/
Dementia Darling: https://www.instagram.com/dementiadarling/
BeLightCare: https://www.instagram.com/belightcare/
Dementia Careblazers: https://www.instagram.com/dementia_careblazers/
View all episodes
By Michele Magner
5
1616 ratings
This question, by far, is one of the most triggering questions family members have to respond to. There are so many emotions
that spike to the surface when this is asked, and it can swirl us into
guilt, doubt, fear, sadness, anger you name it, pretty quickly.
If someone is not living with Alzheimer's or another
dementia, this usually presents as subtle jabs that can eventually be
triggering leading to explosion or argument. The bottom line is, things
are where they are for a reason or number of reasons, that are out of
our control. Our goal is to let the comments slide, be reassuring,
validate the person's emotional response to the situation, generally do
our best to not fall into the trigger trap and respond in a loving way.
The game changes when the person asking is living with dementia. It's
never a one and done conversation. They don't remember asking the
question. They're confused about what is going on. We have worked hard
to figure out this new living arrangement and get things set up, so
it's upsetting when they're repeatedly asking about going home. It's a
constant reminder that everything has changed.
We desire for them to not ask this because we want to feel a certain way.
Of course we want people to feel settled and happy. Under the best of
circumstances, a move takes time to feel settled in. When someone is
living with dementia this takes an extraordinarily longer amount of time
and in my experience, eventually, people do get there and stop asking.
Eventually.
In this episode I talk about:
This is a VERY tough time and I want to uplift that you are amazing
and doing a great job. Be kind and patient with yourself too. Do what
you need to do to take care of yourself, restore yourself, and recharge
so you can feel patient during this chapter.
www.michelemagner.com
Dementia Educators to follow:
Teepa Snow: https://www.instagram.com/teepasnows_pac/
Dementia Darling: https://www.instagram.com/dementiadarling/
BeLightCare: https://www.instagram.com/belightcare/
Dementia Careblazers: https://www.instagram.com/dementia_careblazers/