The Everyday Awesome Project

119: The Overgiving Trap!


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If you’ve ever walked away from a hangout feeling like you just donated a pint of blood, we made this one for you. We’re talking about the overgiving trap, that sneaky pattern where “I’m just being kind” turns into over-functioning, people pleasing, and quietly training others to give you less than you need. 

We unpack the clear red flags: always initiating, saying yes when you mean no, tolerating ghosting, and feeling resentful or underappreciated afterward. From friendships to family dynamics to shared households, we explore how imbalanced roles form by default, why renegotiating can feel so hard, and how conflict avoidance can slowly erase your sense of what you even want. We also go deeper into the nervous system side, including conditional love, safety wiring, and the fawn response as a trauma pattern that can keep you performing for belonging. 

Then we pivot into tools you can actually use. We share how to define your relationship “buy box” so you know what reciprocity looks like in real life, not in fantasy. We talk about testing the dynamic by pulling back, making clean requests, and choosing based on evidence instead of hope, especially in dating and long-term partnership. Our core takeaway is simple: your worth is intrinsic, your needs are allowed, and the right relationships will meet you halfway. 

If this resonates, listen through, share it with a fellow overgiver, and then subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: where do you need more reciprocity right now?

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt 

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Website/About Us: https://everydayawesomeproject.com/about-us/


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The Everyday Awesome ProjectBy Polly Mertens & Samantha Pruitt

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