August 17, 2025

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 2, Shades of Pleasure

Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy.

In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly dive into the theme of jealousy and fear in relationships, particularly within non-monogamy. The conversation centers around the idea of radical fear—the recognition that fear underlies jealousy, insecurity, conflict, and even the difficulty of asking for what we want in relationships.

The hosts explore how fear connects to attachment styles, with some people fearing the loss of a partner and others fearing the loss of themselves or their autonomy. They discuss how reframing jealousy as fear can help clients and partners alike approach it with compassion rather than denial.

From there, the group expands into the importance of emotional safety. They highlight how safety is not absolute but can be cultivated as “safe enough” spaces where honesty and vulnerability can emerge. The conversation touches on practical ways to build safety in relationships—through self-regulation, attunement to emotional energy, curiosity instead of defensiveness, and creating shared vocabulary.

The hosts also reflect on the dynamics of couple privilege in non-monogamy, where couples sometimes close relationships out of fear, which can perpetuate monogamy as the default cultural norm. They challenge listeners to question whether closing is truly about values or simply about avoiding discomfort.

Finally, they affirm that while non-monogamy isn’t for everyone, its framework—centered on communication, consent, and questioning defaults—offers valuable tools for all relationships, monogamous or not. They emphasize the role of somatic awareness in managing dysregulation and creating connection, reminding listeners that experiential safety is just as important as conceptual understanding.

The episode closes with the group acknowledging how much they themselves learned from the discussion, underscoring that these conversations are not just clinical but deeply human.

✨ Key Takeaways:

* Jealousy is rooted in radical fear—fear of loss, rejection, or change.

* Facing fear compassionately opens the door to honesty, vulnerability, and safety.

* Emotional safety is co-created, not guaranteed, and requires regulation, attunement, and curiosity.

* Non-monogamy highlights relational growth, but its tools can benefit all relationship styles.

* Somatic and embodied practices help people recognize, name, and manage dysregulation.

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