We want to start a plague so don't tell us we don't have dreams, OK?! This week alcohol can't seem to curb our grievances so we had to turn to darwinism. That's right - sink or swim, b**ches. It's been an especially rough week with "60 day challenges" commencing, people leaving their shopping carts strewn about parking lots due to cold weather and drunkenly having a come to Jesus moment in a bathroom stall where you think, "I may be too old to go to bars with bathrooms that are this gross." Timestamps for all you sidebar nation fans to jump around the episode:

• Superbowl Injuries - 4:00
• More Superbowl things like Tom Brady, the halftime show and commercials - 9:22
• Dry January - 15:00
• Feeling trapped & 60 day challenge - 23:00
• Am I too old for bars this gross? - 36:08
• Shopping carts are everywhere - 42:14
• The snow-car-apocalypse - 44:54