Tense situations come with high emotions and drama. It's hard to to be non defensive, even when you want to. A listener asked for a step-by-step guide to being non defensive. While there's not a one-size-fits-all-guide for any conflict, here are five conflict competencies that help non-defensiveness. Combine, rearrange, and use these five in ways that work for you. They are not all the skills you need, but practice them, and you're on your way to improving your conflict competence, and the quality of your relationships.

Show notes of the five conflict competencies:

1. Listening: Episode 70 is one of a few about listening  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6__TLF-bfo
2. Perspective taking: We have a few episodes about perspective taking
The latest is 114 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKGq2mHa9Zk&t=2s
3. Questioning: Start with episode 77 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zXuOFfhuZU
4. Managing expectations Episode 17 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KgCsCR9xis
5. Non judgment: Episode 85 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fbENxFhQF0&t=7s

Send us a text. We love hearing from you.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.