The Art of We

123. Abundant Repair: Our Agreement That Turns Conflict Into Connection


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When conflict arises in a relationship, do you retreat, explode, or sweep it under the rug? We unpack one of our foundational relationship agreements: to Repair Abundantly. We explore how the ability to fully and lovingly repair after conflict is the difference between surviving and thriving—and how the right kind of repair doesn’t just restore connection, it deepens it. We share personal stories, listener questions, and the real-life impact of doing this work together, especially when triggers come up again (and again). 

“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

(00:00) Why this is one of our most essential agreements

(01:40) What repair means to us (and how it’s different than just “making up”)

(03:30) Attachment theory and the 3 phases

(05:28) How repair can leave you more connected than before the conflict

(07:22) What happens when repair isn’t mutual or complete

(10:38) “What if I’m always the one to initiate repair?”

(13:02) Attachment dynamics in conflict

(15:10) Why shared purpose in your relationship is essential

(17:26) “What if the same trigger keeps coming up?”

(19:44) When to seek deeper therapy or examine incomplete repairs

(21:10) A call to mutual growth, grace, and staying in the conversation


Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!


Resources Mentioned: 

  • Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
  • Getting To Zero by Jayson Gaddis


Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training


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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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