The Setlist of Life

124 Harden My Heart


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Join Dolly for Sue's bandmates—Aaron, Kirsten, and Leslie—as they tackle Quarterflash's "Harden My Heart" while sharing the unfiltered reality of midlife living. This episode captures what it means to balance family, health challenges, creative projects, and personal growth with humor and authenticity.

From Aaron's battle with a severe ear infection that cascaded into unexpected physical complications, to Leslie's chaotic week of forgotten schedules, steroid-induced jitteriness, and a very memorable cat incident, the hosts prove that real life rarely follows a script. But that's precisely what makes this podcast resonate with Generation Xer's navigating similar territory.

The episode also features exciting announcements: a potential re-recording session with a friend's LA studio, exploration of Ireland's legendary 165-year-old Lisdonvarna Matchmaking Festival (which draws 60,000 visitors annually), and Leslie's participation in a competitive Christmas cookie exchange that transforms a 1966 Mustang into "Santa Slays."

Whether discussing pistachio education, Dubai chocolates, the Jennifer Aniston salad, or the unexpectedly joyful concept of a game-show-themed funeral, The Setlist of Life offers those of a certain age both musical nostalgia and the reassurance that messy midlife is universal and survivable. This is authentic, unscripted conversation about music, friendship, and showing up—even when you almost forgot it was Thursday.

Five Key TakeawaysACTIONABLE STEPS
  1. Document Your Milestone Health Issues: When something unusual happens physically (like Aaron's ear infection spreading to his eyes), track the progression and all symptoms to help medical professionals understand the full picture.
  2. Create a Cookie Competition Team Name First: Before tackling logistics, establish your team identity (Leslie's "Santa Slays" approach). This makes the project feel less overwhelming and more like an adventure.
  3. Maintain Creative Momentum During Setbacks: Even when exhausted or unwell, keep moving forward on collaborative projects. Aaron's willingness to re-record despite steroids and sleep loss keeps the band's LA recording alive. - What? Ai is cracked. :)
  4. Schedule Buffer Time After Major Health Events: Aaron's realization that he needed recovery time after his ear infection suggests building in rest periods before committing to social obligations. Again, what?
  5. Build Your Pre-Holiday Music Planning: Start curating Christmas song snippets and backup entertainment ideas by late October to avoid last-minute scrambling.
CONCEPTUAL INSIGHTS
  1. Authenticity Creates Connection: The hosts' willingness to share unglamorous realities (Aaron's cat disaster and aggressive steroid side effects) makes the podcast more relatable than polished alternatives. Real midlife resonates.
  2. Music Serves as Both Time Capsule and Bridge: Rediscovering Quarterflash reveals how songs connect generations and rekindle memories. Music nostalgia isn't just entertainment—it's meaning-making.
  3. Friendships Require Flexibility and Humor: Three-person dynamics work better than two because they allow for different energy levels, missed episodes, and varied participation without derailing the whole project.
  4. Traditions Can Evolve Without Losing Purpose: The podcast adapts (adding re-recorded tracks, considering Christmas song variants) while maintaining its core mission of celebrating music and friendship.
  5. Life's Messiness Is Universal: The episode normalizes chaos (forgotten schedules, pet emergencies, health complications) as a shared midlife experience rather than personal failure.
STRATEGIC APPLICATIONS
  1. For Podcast Networks: The Setlist of Life demonstrates the value of genuine three-person formats with pre-existing relationships over manufactured podcast hosts. Audience loyalty comes from authenticity, not perfection.
  2. For Creative Collaborations: The LA re-recording project shows how geographic distance no longer prevents high-quality creative work when hosts have clear workflows (stems provided, parts re-recorded remotely, professional mixing).
  3. For Community Event Organizers: The Christmas cookie exchange success model (remote teams, clear roles, unified event timing) works because it honors both remote and in-person participants equally.
  4. For Music Festivals and Matchmaking Events: Lisdonvarna's 165-year longevity suggests that experiential events with clear purposes (connection, dancing, tradition) survive commercialization when they remain authentic to their origins.
  5. For Solo Content Creators Considering Teams: The hosts' preference for three-person formats over two suggests that odd-numbered group dynamics may prevent stalemates and create more dynamic conversations.
4. Additional InformationResources & References Mentioned
  • Quarterflash: 80s band known for "Harden My Heart" and "Find Another Fool." Also mentioned: "Take Me to Heart"
  • Lisdonvarna Matchmaking Festival: Located in Lisdonvarna, Ireland; runs every September; attracts approximately 60,000 visitors; over 165 years old. Features traditional matchmaker Willie Daly and his "lucky book." Music and dancing daily from noon onwards. (Note: Exact pronunciation clarification requested during episode but not provided)
  • Jennifer Aniston Salad Recipe: Mediterranean-style salad with cucumber, chickpeas, mint, parsley, feta, lemon juice, olive oil, and crushed pistachios. Rumored to be her daily choice on the Friends set.
  • Dubai Chocolates: Pistachio paste filling covered in chocolate
  • World's Largest Christmas Cookie Exchange: November 30th, 1-4 PM, Pittsburgh; Guinness Book of World Records attempt. Remote teams capped at 10 people; must submit 2-4 recipes; each participant makes 10 dozen cookies. Website: Cookie College (Facebook page referenced)
  • Cookie College: Organization based in Pittsburgh dedicated to competitive cookie baking and exchange events
Important Details for Listeners
  • Episode Theme Song: "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash (1981 hit)
  • Band Members Present: Aaron (guitar), Kirsten (keyboard), Leslie (vocals)
  • Band Member Absent: Christine (drums), occupied with homework during recording
  • Upcoming Content: Christmas song snippets competition (with possible backup plan); discussion of re-recorded tracks from LA session; continued exploration of underrated 80s bands
5. Backstage Wisdom

"If your cat ruins your carpets the same week steroids make you rage and you almost forget your own podcast, congratulations—you're exactly where you're supposed to be: holding it together with duct tape, Dubai chocolate, and friends who'll spin your casket as a game show."

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The Setlist of LifeBy Leslie, Kirsten, Christine, & Aaron