Today Mike Parry and Lesley-Ann Jones get stuck into the debauchery of the holiday season with topics including: the behaviour of footballers when they go abroad, ludicrously exorbitant bar bills, the island of Mykonos, Porky's posh-but-pricey pens, teenage trips to Benidorm, the recent spike in cocaine use, Paris Hilton, the cult of celebrity, Holly Willoughby's credentials, Ant and Dec, the man with hundreds of piercings, getting a Prince Albert, I'm a Celebrity moving to Wales (and why that shouldn't be lampooned), whether Stephen Fry is a national treasure, Boris Johnson's fatherly habits and the delights of the Ritz in Paris. It's party time on Planet Porky...get the drinks in.   

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And if you'd like to contact Mike or Lesley-Ann you can do so via Twitter: @MikeParry8, @LAJwriter or @PlanetPorky or via email: [email protected]. Your questions and comments are always gratefully received.