On a very special episode of the She Doesn't Settle podcast, my guest is Melissa Lyons West, a thoroughly remarkable woman who joins me to discuss her experience growing up in a Fundamentalist cult and her brave decision to ultimately leave. Melissa opens up the episode by detailing the repressive environment that is living in a commune and why it wasn't until she met another woman who challenged her own beliefs that everything she believed to be true started to unravel. Before abandoning life in the commune, Melissa struggled with suicidal ideations, depression, physical abuse, and severe backlash if she chose to stray from the Fundamentalist Baptist norm.

Since then, she's put in a lot of mental health work, raised children trauma-free with her husband, and even started coaching other women with similar backgrounds. And that's not to say that it all came easily. On her journey to freedom she made her way to Thailand and back, suffered the loss of her mother, and had to work through intense bouts of denial. So today, she talks about all that and then some. Most importantly, she talks about borrowing courage, especially when you don't have any yourself. With that said, join us today to hear about Melissa's incredibly inspiring story and learn why she is no longer willing to sacrifice herself to make others feel comfortable.

The Finer Details of This Episode:

• Why Melissa's sharing of her story felt like reclaiming her power
• Why repressive environments are breeding grounds for abuse
• Questioning her own beliefs
• Struggling with suicidal ideations and postpartum depression
• Denying that she lived in a cult
• Visiting her sick sister in Thailand
• Abandoning her life in Baltimore for Salt Lake City
• Melissa's work coaching other women
• Borrowing courage
• Having the freedom to explore her marriage completely

Quotes:

"She was born and raised in a cult. And at 30 years old, she finally left. And through her story, you can hear how challenging that whole experience was, and still is today, even eight years later."

"We had this old 40 acre farm, and it had some tobacco barns on it that we had turned into church buildings."

"So some of us got out at the same time. And that was really helpful for me to kind of have somebody who knew the fear that we were working through and kind of have it to bounce off."

"She would just say whatever she felt. She was incredibly kind - not nice. Like, I know nice; I was raised to be nice. But she was genuinely kind, and she just did whatever she wanted. I was like, 'I don't understand this. I don't understand what is happening. But I love it. I'm scared. I love it.'"

"I had all these glimpses of freedom, but I didn't know how to get out. I didn't know what to do."

"The day before I left, I was on the floor having a panic attack. So I had had a lot of panic attacks in my life just under this extreme pressure. But I hadn't had them in a few months, because I was really starting to speak my truth and let it out. And so it kind of took me by surprise, and I remember I just curled up, can't breathe and my sister just so bluntly, saying, 'You better figure this shit out, or you're gonna get sick just like me.'"

"Everybody's out to one degree or another. Some people have left religion altogether, some have found something that works better for them. But everyone is out of the fundamentalist, very controlling aspect."

"I'm not willing to pretend or give up a part of who I am. To make somebody else comfortable. I did that for 35 years."

"I have five values, five core values that run through everything: freedom, self-care, vulnerability, joy and happiness, and the divine feminine power within me."

"When I came back home, I had a relapse and mental health relapse. And I found myself going back to those those suicidal ideation of just like how do I escape this pain."

Links:

She Doesn't Settle Podcast

She Doesn't Settle - The Experience: www.kellytravis.net/sds

Instagram: www.instagram.com/shedoesntsettle/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellythealth/

One-on-One Coaching & Group Sessions

Melissa's Homepage

Melissa on Instagram