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computer, open lotus notes. computer, start new note. new line. dear computer, this week on my radio we talk about dropping it into third gear going 60 on the beltway and chirping the dang tires. end note.

computer, open secret diary file. new entry. dear computer, i am in love with the iranian woman who picks through the trash in front of the del taco. she carries herself with such dignity in spite of her disgusting body and pathetic life. oh diary, i want to ask her to the prom but will she say yes??? ugh, its so hard to be 33. I hope that this summer i get abs and huge tits.

computer, log off.