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140: Why You Froze When They Said the Wrong Thing
Send Jen a Text Message
You weren't being too sensitive. They were being thoughtless. Those are not the same thing.
You know the comment. The one your sister said at brunch. The one your best friend sent over text. "You can always try again." "At least you know you can get pregnant." "Maybe by this time next year you'll have your baby." When it comes from a stranger, you can write it off. But when it comes from someone your own age, someone who knew your baby, someone who was supposed to be in your corner, that's a different kind of wound.
In this episode, I'm talking about why those comments hit the way they do, and why it has nothing to do with you needing thicker skin. We'll get into the second sentence hiding underneath the words, the freeze response that keeps you from saying anything in the moment, and why your baby was never a rough draft or a practice round. I'm also sharing what someone said to me after I lost my girls, and how it quietly changed the way I let people in.
What you'll learn:
- Why a comment from your sister or best friend cuts so much deeper than one from a stranger at Target
- The unspoken second sentence underneath "next year you'll have your baby" and why you're not imagining it
- Why your body freezes when someone says the wrong thing, and why that's survival, not weakness
- How to stop carrying shame about the things you didn't say in the moment
- Why your baby is not a stepping stone, a placeholder, or a first draft — and never will be
- How to hold two true things at once: they meant well, and it still hurt
- Three things you can actually do this week when someone wounds you this way
- Why you don't owe anyone a graceful response or an explanation
- How to make peace with the fact that some people will never fully understand, and why that's okay
Read the full blog post here:
https://navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop
Free workshop for moms grieving stillbirth or pregnancy loss. Learn simple, trauma-informed practices to release guilt, calm the what-ifs, and honor your baby's memory with love instead of pain. Includes bonus Grief & Guilt Release Journal.
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal
WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
- Website- https://www.jennifersenn.com
- Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
- Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
- You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA
View all episodes
By Jennifer Senn
5
1919 ratings
Send Jen a Text Message
You weren't being too sensitive. They were being thoughtless. Those are not the same thing.
You know the comment. The one your sister said at brunch. The one your best friend sent over text. "You can always try again." "At least you know you can get pregnant." "Maybe by this time next year you'll have your baby." When it comes from a stranger, you can write it off. But when it comes from someone your own age, someone who knew your baby, someone who was supposed to be in your corner, that's a different kind of wound.
In this episode, I'm talking about why those comments hit the way they do, and why it has nothing to do with you needing thicker skin. We'll get into the second sentence hiding underneath the words, the freeze response that keeps you from saying anything in the moment, and why your baby was never a rough draft or a practice round. I'm also sharing what someone said to me after I lost my girls, and how it quietly changed the way I let people in.
What you'll learn:
- Why a comment from your sister or best friend cuts so much deeper than one from a stranger at Target
- The unspoken second sentence underneath "next year you'll have your baby" and why you're not imagining it
- Why your body freezes when someone says the wrong thing, and why that's survival, not weakness
- How to stop carrying shame about the things you didn't say in the moment
- Why your baby is not a stepping stone, a placeholder, or a first draft — and never will be
- How to hold two true things at once: they meant well, and it still hurt
- Three things you can actually do this week when someone wounds you this way
- Why you don't owe anyone a graceful response or an explanation
- How to make peace with the fact that some people will never fully understand, and why that's okay
Read the full blog post here:
https://navigatingbabyloss.com/workshop
Free workshop for moms grieving stillbirth or pregnancy loss. Learn simple, trauma-informed practices to release guilt, calm the what-ifs, and honor your baby's memory with love instead of pain. Includes bonus Grief & Guilt Release Journal.
Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal
WHERE TO FIND AND FOLLOW ME!
- Website- https://www.jennifersenn.com
- Tik Tok-https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingbabyloss
- Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/navigatingbabyloss/
- You Tube-https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz-2MCEY5PRiF6p6VB_2lxA