In this episode of Being Different Together, Kelly and Nyssa unpack why conflict doesn’t have to mean something is wrong—in fact, it can be the very path to deeper connection.

Drawing on the work of Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath and the Center for Real Dialog, they explore how “healthy conflict” in relationships can reduce emotional threat, calm our inner “baby,” and transform repetitive fights into opportunities for understanding. You’ll hear how real dialog helps with couples conflict, family estrangement, and everyday triggers like dishes, laundry, and tone over email—plus why “working for peace” is different from stopping war in our homes and in the world.

Along the way, they weave together stories from a big week of events in Tampa, including Polly’s talks on Buddhism, Jung, and real dialogue, and Kelly’s role as Chief of Staff at the Center. Themes like how to handle conflict in relationships, how to communicate during conflict, why we get stuck in the same arguments, and how to know your path (by doing the next relevant thing) all show up in practical, down-to-earth language. If you’ve ever wondered how to stay in relationship when you don’t agree—or how to turn “enemy button” moments into curiosity—this episode is a warm, honest guide.

Main Topics Covered:

• How conflict can actually be the way to peace (and why trying to “keep the peace” often backfires)
• Why conflict doesn’t automatically mean there’s a “problem” in your relationship
• What “real dialog” is and how it lowers emotional threat between people
• The surprising power of healthy conflict in couples, families, and communities
• How Dr. Polly Young-Eisendrath’s work blends Buddhism, Jungian psychology, and relationships
• The “enemy button” and the baby inside us that still runs our reactions in conflict
• Projective identification: the invisible pattern that keeps pulling you into the same fights
• “Do the next relevant thing”: a simple way to navigate your path when you feel lost
• What happened when Polly brought real dialog to a high-end social club—and why people opened up
• Kelly’s new role as Chief of Staff at the Center for Real Dialog and what she’s learning about working in conflict every day

Links: 

• Center for Real Dialogue
• Time is Honey Radiolab Episode - mentioned in the podcast
• Ep #1: Welcome to Being Different Together: How It All Started
• Ep #2: What Our “Enemy Button” Gets Wrong About Conflict

Stay in Touch:

Nyssa Hanger: www.nyssahanger.com | IG: @nyssahanger

Kelly Brady: www.kellybrady.me | IG: @drkellybrady