In this episode of Schmactors, James and Mark go from superhero vision exams to existential midlife meltdowns in under 40 minutes. First up: can Clark Kent’s ophthalmologist really be fooled by a pair of glasses? The guys spiral into Superman’s colonoscopy cover stories, locker room etiquette, and how lying to protect a secret identity might actually destroy your soul.

Then it’s on to the art of on-screen kissing—who’s the better smoocher: John Barrowman or Sarah Michelle Gellar? James unpacks the awkward dance of “fake hot” lip-locks, nose-smashing dangers, and the day he literally bit a co-star on set.

Things get real when the boys take on plastic surgery in Hollywood, the brutal shelf life of actors, and what it means to age when your face is your product. And finally, they dive headfirst into a listener’s question about life satisfaction, delivering raw confessions about regret, reinvention, and the ultimate legacy of being a decent human.

It’s vulnerable. It’s ridiculous. It’s Schmactors at its most human.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠ schmactors.com ⁠⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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