This week on Schmactors, it’s time to zap into the void with a cattle prod, question your Beatle loyalty, and wonder aloud if David Caruso is still standing under that same damn porch light. Mark recounts the surreal politics of Hollywood parties (spoiler: Caruso smokes cigars like he’s in a noir), while James waxes philosophical about the dangers of going full Clooney at Seth Green’s birthday.

Jason dares to suggest space is cool—if there’s a big enough window—and makes a bold stand against spiders, seafood, and Beatles fandom. Mark gets real about agoraphobia, panic attacks, and childhood trauma, while James advocates for taser-based home defense and tells you why Ringo is the chillest drummer in the biz.

Blood donations? Rare. Phobias? Frequent. Rib Fest cover bands? Too real. This one’s got conspiracy theories, fake organs, reversed guts, financial regrets, and just enough “pizza parlor chaos” to keep the lizard people tuning in.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠schmactors.com⁠⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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In this episode of Schmactors, James and Mark go from superhero vision exams to existential midlife meltdowns in under 40 minutes. First up: can Clark Kent’s ophthalmologist really be fooled by a pair of glasses? The guys spiral into Superman’s colonoscopy cover stories, locker room etiquette, and how lying to protect a secret identity might actually destroy your soul.

Then it’s on to the art of on-screen kissing—who’s the better smoocher: John Barrowman or Sarah Michelle Gellar? James unpacks the awkward dance of “fake hot” lip-locks, nose-smashing dangers, and the day he literally bit a co-star on set.

Things get real when the boys take on plastic surgery in Hollywood, the brutal shelf life of actors, and what it means to age when your face is your product. And finally, they dive headfirst into a listener’s question about life satisfaction, delivering raw confessions about regret, reinvention, and the ultimate legacy of being a decent human.

It’s vulnerable. It’s ridiculous. It’s Schmactors at its most human.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠ schmactors.com ⁠⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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This week on Schmactors, James and Mark dive into the psychological side effects of method acting, accidental hate-symbol cosplay, and the crushing guilt of being slightly less generous than your saint-like friends. From dialysis dinner duty to Doc Martens and flannel misfires, it’s a journey into the absurdity of good intentions and the existential spiral that follows.

The duo also tackles some big listener questions:

– Can roles mess with your real-life psyche?

– Would you rather meet your ancestors or your descendants?

– How the hell do you actually overcome fear (spoiler: not always with grace)?

Plus, James opens up about becoming Spike (for real), and Mark shares his subway panic attack origin story. Oh, and someone finally says “My God” with the gravitas it deserves.

So fluff up your emotional back hair and strap in, this one’s got it all.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠⁠schmactors.com⁠⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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In this wildly unpredictable episode of Schmactors, James Marsters and Mark Devine dive headfirst into the philosophical, the musical, and the deeply absurd. From pondering whether Patrick Mahomes is the Mozart of football or just another heartbreak waiting to happen, to deathbed confessions involving DB Cooper, Madonna, and… fake buried treasure, the guys explore the art of leaving a legacy—fictional or otherwise.

Mark relives his first KISS concert, complete with Satanic Panic and steak-scented weed. James shares the awkward tale of attending a Neil Diamond show chauffeured by a porn-writing teacher. There’s a heartfelt discussion about learning piano at 50, the reality of killing one good person to stop climate change (spoiler: heroin is involved), and a deep dive into Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet as a lightsaber-era bloodbath.

Also: ghost stories, Bigfoot skepticism, Romeo with puppy eyes, Star Trek tribbles, a Catholic Monsignor who hands out pizza and tape recorders, and Jason’s unexpected gift of a back scratcher. It’s the usual Schmactors chaos—with a body count.

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠schmactors.com⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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In this episode of Schmactors, James Marsters and Mark Devine catch up on travel tales, revisit brushes with fame, and plunge headfirst into the black hole of existential curiosity.

From James’ sticker-shock in Australia (turns out the $30 sandwich isn’t quite what it seems) to Mark’s brush with Sex and the City fame (and the ensuing emotional breakdown in a bodega), the guys get real about the soul-poisoning effects of celebrity.

They tackle a fan question from Uruguay—yes, Uruguay!—about how fame messes with your head. James cites a Tom Hanks survival strategy, and Mark tells a story that ends with a possibly scarred fan and a six-pack.

Then it’s time for stargazing—literally. James nerds out about spiral galaxies, dark matter, and the unknowable mysteries of the universe, while Mark confuses UAPs with UPS. (No packages were delivered during the taping of this episode.)

Got a burning question? Hit up ⁠schmactors.com⁠ — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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Welcome back to Schmactors! Season 2 kicks off with James Marsters and Mark Devine diving straight into the fine art of… playing dead. Yep, it’s harder than it looks, and they’ve got the stories (and the scars) to prove it. They’re also spilling the beans on caffeine binges before shows, disastrous productions that still haunt their dreams (Marriage of Figaro, we’re looking at you), and experimental theater that went way off the rails. Mark shares the hilarious tale of how trying to race an 18-year-old cost him his Achilles — and a little bit of his dignity. Plus, the golden rule of acting: never date your co-stars (unless you love pain and awkwardness).

Listener Q&A is back too! The guys tackle everything from their favorite words (warning: “diarrhea” is somehow involved) to how to survive bombing onstage, and even who would win in a caveman vs. astronaut throwdown (spoiler: it’s not who you think).

Got a burning question? Hit up schmactors.com — leave a voicemail or text, and maybe you’ll hear it on the show. And if you laughed (or at least snorted), do us a favor and share Schmactors with a friend. It’s cheaper than therapy.

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Tis the Season for Schmacting!

In this jingle-jammed holiday episode, James Marsters and Mark Devine unpack the highs, lows, and hilarity of the festive season. From giving cringe-worthy gifts (hello, brooding headshots and mall-recorded Desperado renditions) to the magic of believing in Santa, this is a Christmas special you’ll never forget!

Listener Mailbag:

The gang answers your burning holiday questions, including what art piece they’d swipe from a museum and what one change they’d make to the world. Spoiler alert: James just wants calorie-free pie.

Don’t Miss This Episode Full of Laughs, Love, and a Bit of Schmactor Sentimentality!

Got a holiday story or question for the next show? Visit schmactors.com and let James and Mark know!

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In the season finale of Schmactors, hosts James Marsters and Mark Devine discuss a variety of entertaining and thought-provoking topics. They start with a playful debate on which classic 80s TV show is better: "The Dukes of Hazard" or "The A-Team." The conversation takes a hilarious turn as they discuss unexpected parenting moments, including Jackson's amusing art project.

The hosts also explore their biggest pet peeves, the truth behind commercials, and the societal obsession with sugar. They share their pre-performance rituals, revealing personal anecdotes about stage fright and superstitions. The discussion then shifts to the implications of new technology, like Apple's Vision Pro, on social interactions and entertainment.

Join James and Mark for an episode filled with laughter, honest reflections, and engaging opinions on a wide range of topics.

To learn more about the show and send in your own questions that might get answered on the air or leave us a voicemail, head over to Schmactors.com!

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Join James Marsters and Mark Devine in this episode of Schmactors as they delve into the quirks of personal advice, the pressures of masculinity, and their lives beyond Hollywood. Listen in as they share hilarious and heartfelt stories about family, fatherhood, and the trials of growing up. From Mark’s unique wardrobe choices to James’ reflections on his early acting days, this episode is a rollercoaster of emotions and insights. This episode is sure to entertain and enlighten.

To learn more about the show and send in your own questions that might get answered on the air or leave us a voicemail, head over to Schmactors.com!

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In this riotous episode of "Schmactors," James Marsters and Mark Devine take you on a wild ride through Hollywood's quirks. They kick off with Marsters' spot-on British impressions and a deep dive into "Call the Midwife." Hilarity ensues as they debate dream roles, with Marsters lamenting he's too old for Hamlet and Devine wishing he could play Spike. They tackle the legalities of using rubber babies on set and crack up over an SNL skit featuring Will Ferrell as a newborn businessman.

The conversation turns profound as they ponder heaven, hell, and life's meaning, all while maintaining their comedic flair. Marsters shares his father's view of hell, and Devine recounts his agnostic upbringing versus his mom's Catholicism. They hilariously answer a fan question about choosing between superpowers and orgasms, blending wit and wisdom throughout.

With Marsters' impressions and Devine's tangents, this episode is a comedic tour de force that will have you laughing out loud and questioning everything you thought you knew about Hollywood. Buckle up for a zany, thought-provoking joyride!

To learn more about the show and send in your own questions that might get answered on the air or leave us a voicemail, head over to Schmactors.com!

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