What do you serve to a Broadway producer who barges into your podcast taping planning to kidnap you and then force you into a life of indentured servitude in the theater? The answer, as we learn on this episode of Dan Wakes Up Screaming, is a small sherry with an olive in it.

James Taylor drops in at one point as well, and Fed provides a hot tip on how to get someone from Long Island to do something. Hint: print a custom Penny Saver that has an ad for free jet skis in it.

Also! We play the Teen Topix! game (spelling mine), and later discuss Dan's crippling dependence on donuts, which leads into a conversation about the Atkins diet craze of the late nineties. And as if that weren't enough, there is some swordplay in the third act. It is a magical evening.

More importantly, go read David Crabb's newly released memoir, called Bad Kid! It was written by a very nice man who Fed and Dan had the privilege of working with in the past.

Other shout outs include our three hundredth Twitter follower, @podcastdan, and defunct Annapolis punk legends Pee Tanks. Finally, Dan does a very unflattering imitation of Andy Kaufman. Nice job, @podcastdan and Pee Tanks. Bad job, Andy Kaufmann.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Miami Call” by Herr Doktor

“Meet Me On The Dancefloor” by Track Jackit