It’s so important to look at how far you’ve come and to celebrate the older wiser woman you are becoming. 

These are the Top 6 Things that I Wish I Would Have Told My Younger Self:

• LET IT WORK ITSELF OUT- Give it time- Be patient and trust that it will work out over time- There’s no need to rush it- No Need to overwhelm yourself with unrealistic timelines or expectations- Take a break from the chaos- get out in nature, have fun, try new things… WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I would want to try to fix things right away and sometimes it would make things work- now each situation is different and some may require quick action, but in most cases I’ve learned to step back, give it some time and love and let it sit for a while without dwelling on it (It takes discipline and practice to not dwell, but keep working on it- find your mantras to say during this time like- "I chose love and trust time will heal this…")
• DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL- When someone lashes out at you- 9 times out of 10 it is because of something THEY are INTERNALLY dealing with that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU- so Remember that when you think about how you will respond and what you will do when this happens. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I would assume it was my fault. I would take it personally, I would apologize even when I didn’t do anything wrong, I wouldn’t stick up for myself- NOW when someone lashes out or I find myself in the middle of conflict I say to myself I wonder what internal struggles this person is going through and empathize with what they may be dealing with internally- I give the situation and myself love and remind myself I am doing my best and to give myself some grace.
• IT’S OKAY IF NOT EVERYONE LIKES YOU- Oh boy if I had practiced this sooner I would have saved some heartache. No matter where you are and what you do YOUR PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU and YOU WILL FIND YOUR PEOPLE.  Please say that to yourself a few times.  And, if they aren’t your people then they, or you, will move on and it’s OKAY. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I would have been crushed if I didn’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling from everyone.  If I felt like someone didn’t like me or notice me. Now I am okay with it.  I don’t have a lot of time these days to invest in a lot of friend relationships so when I do it’s got to feel right.  When I get a vibe from someone that is special I make note and if I don’t I move on. 
• DON’T JUST GO WITH THE FLOW BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO ROCK THE BOAT- Have an opinion, make a decision, follow your heart your gut, your whatever, but don’t compromise your beliefs and what feels right so other’s aren’t uncomfortable. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I would jeopardize my happiness for others.  I would do things that didn’t bring me joy –don’t get me wrong sometimes we have to do that, but too often when I was younger I would not set boundaries and say yes to everything.  This left me drained and unhappy.  NOW- I know my limits and say no if it doesn’t serve me or is something I know I can’t realistically fit in. 
• NEVER STOP WORKING ON LOVING YOURSELF- It all starts with YOU. YOU know yourself best.  YOU are the one who ultimately is going to do the thing so start believing in YOU and when you are disappointed in you or wish you would have handled something different give yourself some grace and forgiveness.  Talk to yourself as if you would your best friend.  You wouldn’t treat them like crap when they are down and start yelling profanities at them.  You would comfort them and remind them of all the things you love about them.  Why is it so hard to do that for ourselves?  WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I would beat myself up over every little thing.  I recall thinking it was good to put yourself last and be humble and not gloat about yourself and I think that’s what perpetuated me not investing in me or saying anything flattering about myself even if in my head.  NOW I practice being kind to myself.  I prioritize taking care of ME and I say loving things to myself and celebrate my accomplishments unapologetically!
• CHANGE YOUR FREQUENCY TO GRATITUDE- Refer to Ep#3 "How to Start a Gratitude Practice" if you need some ideas. I can’t stress enough HOW MUCH IT TRULY MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN MINDSET.  WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I didn’t appreciate and recognize all I had.  I focused too much on what I didn’t have.  Looking back I know now how wrong that was.  I had SO much to be grateful for, but I focused on the few things I didn’t that overshadowed that.  NOW-I don’t think I realized the impact it had on me until I started to use it to work my way through tough situations.  When I start to feel negative emotions come up, because I’ve been practicing it for some time now my mind automatically shifts to gratitude to help me work my way through.  I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say it was easy to change my mindset, but it was an easy practice.  Trust in the process and continue to hone in on it every day and you will reap the rewards. 

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There is value in taking some time to pause and reflect on how far you’ve come, what’s working, what’s not working, what areas you need to hone in on and give yourself some love.  Love for recognizing where you are, where you’ve been and where you are heading.  Write down progress you’ve made in certain areas and acknowledge your growth.  Also, think about one thing you’d like to continue to practice and tweak to build resilience in an area you need some work on.  This next week or month work on that area until you know you’ve made some progress and notice a change in your mindset around that negative thought pattern or trigger. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: Read Chapter 22 of Lori Harder's "A Tribe Called Bliss" It's titled "A Message from Your Soul" for some inspiration on how to lean into that inner voice that has been speaking to you all these years.  It's time to listen.