Lauren takes us on a hero's journey of perfume and gossips about a warhead, which leaves Ashley wondering a particularly seminal question: "what IS terminal c*m, anyway?" Ashley reads from her teen journal--a list of her teenage self's Perfect Man (spoiler alert, it's a shero's journey) and gossips about a shocking Instagram caption that blew the mind of a busybody. We talk about hot UPS men, the origin of Lauren's delectable man feature: big face, a man who lies about Jim Henson, and the particular joys of receiving a playlist. This week we lie down on our beds, pop on headphones, and dream of you. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com