Babe Patrol

HELLO PART DEUX. It is 2026 and we'd love to say new year, same sh!t, but we just captured a country's president. New year, new sh!t!! In this part two of two, we take on the Year of the Horse and its attending intricacies! First, we do a leeeetle tarot card reading for the Babe Patrol Collective! If you hate this, it is ok, we are never likely to do it again! After that, we move onto constructing the BABE "Bingo" Card for 2026, and we share our predictions for this already wackadoodle year. Predictions range from pop culture to global politics to extraterrestrials. We'll be knocking these off the list as they arise over the next year! Next, we revive the ol' Top Several segment and, with so much of winter remaining, we list off our Top Several Cozy Movies. There is overlap, as to be expected. As usual, Ash's are commercial hits and Lauren's are weird Christmas choices from Wales, or something. Finally, we give you a bunch of orgs doing great work in our community for you to consider donating to in the new year! We love these orgs and their hard and wonderful work. Shout out to mutual aid!! We were stoked to hang with you all for this little winter interlude!! The BABES LOVE YOU. AND BY THE WAY, the Lips Phone is BACK UP at 1-208-352-2482, so text or call us on to let us know which cozy movies are your fave or email us at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #kittery #kitterymaine #portsmouth #portsmouthnh

HELLO. Happiest Holidays to you, from us! We hope you are surviving the weird liminal space between Christmas & New Year's Eve. We decided to make a little Holiday Extravaganza two-parter to support you (and keep ourselves sane). We did zero editing, and we talked as much as we wanted to. In this first part, we gossip! If you've been wondering about the Great Kittery-York Land War, we gossiped a bunch about that and our dual hatred of CONDOS. Then a few commercial land use local gossips, and LAUREN's niece has a BOYFRIEND. So we, for sure, got the deets on that sitch. We trade holiday recipes and will upload the recipes to the Instagram over the coming days. And we discuss fan conspiracy theories about famed Christmas movie, The Holiday. Fair warning--it gets weird. We're stoked to hang with you, and we'll be dropping a Part Deux...at some point here. BY THE WAY, the Lips Phone is BACK UP at 1-208-352-2482, so text or call us on to let us know which holiday recipes are your fave or email us at [email protected]. Follow us on Instagram @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

We lost the plot for a second there, so this is LATE! But here is the FINALE! OK WE LOVE YOU BYE!

Steph drops by the studio (Ash's kitchen) for the penultimate episode of the season & shares a gossip about a battle over a stone bench. Lauren gossips about one million things too numerous to mention, but including beef between an erotica writer and Market Basket. And Ash tells a story about Goose on the Loose, a monitor lizard "gripping the community." Ash reads reviews of a joint she has some old beef with, and everyone laments the fall of Rite Aid. The psychological probe this week is a three-parter, so get some paper and a pen or open your Notes app, and let's get into the feeeeeels. And finally, Steph shares out of her teen journals. Sorry the audio levels are weird on this one! The Lips Phone is still down, but let us know your top three songs by emailing us at [email protected], following us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod. Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com #babepatrolpod #babepatrolpodepisodes #gossip #busybodies #podcast #podcasts #podcastersofinstagram #podcastshow #podcastlife #crush #crushes #redflag #greenflag #ModernDating #kittery #kitterymaine #portsmouth #portsmouthnh #newmarket #newmarketnh #monitorlizard #propanetank #dumpculture

One of the most critical things you can do when you are a middle school girl is to give your crush a code name. Hell, the Babes STILL do this. And in this episode, you'll hear multiple code names AND you can see diagrams of the code names on Instagram via a middle school note to Lauren. In this week's installment, Lauren gossips about the famous people who have apparently visited Maine this summer, and Ash tells a busybody's gossip about a contentious city council race! The Babes take a psychological quiz, and then get RIGHT to it for I Could Just Diary in which we all hear the first BOY NOTE of the pod and hear about Ash's first high school boyfriend, Josiah. Then Lauren REALLY brings it home with a note SHE wrote but never gave to Molly, and it is incredible. It actually refers to her and three of her friends as "the 4 Cools." Omg. The Lips Phone is still down, but let us know if you've tried the new La Crotch by emailing us at [email protected], following us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Listen. The immortal words are, "If you want blood, you got it"--NOT "If you want blood, too bad, you already bought the tickets." The Babes gossip about the recent no-blood GWAR show at Hampton Beach, and some mild shit-talking about a random dude named Andre from Transylvania who won't stop bothering one of Ash's friends. Reviews are back this week, and who knew people had such intense feelings about the post office?? The Babes dub the potpourri segment The Psychological Probe, and figure out each other's Drag Names and Rapper Names. And I Could Just Diary brings some more note action from now-famous Molly suffering and summering in " hot smelly country music playing bug infested Hickville, Arkansas" and a few total gems from Ash's journal about hot actors in 1995. We'll just say that Legends of the Fall was preeetty influential, it seems. The Lips Phone is still down, but let us know your drag name or your rapper name by emailing us at [email protected], following us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Listen. The immortal words are, "If you want blood, you got it"--NOT "If you want blood, too bad, you already bought the tickets." The Babes gossip about the recent no-blood GWAR show at Hampton Beach, and some mild shit-talking about a random dude named Andre from Transylvania who won't stop bothering one of Ash's friends. Reviews are back this week, and who knew people had such intense feelings about the post office?? The Babes dub the potpourri segment The Psychological Probe, and figure out each other's Drag Names and Rapper Names. And I Could Just Diary brings some more note action from the infamous Molly (suffering and summering in " hot smelly country music playing bug infested Hickville, Arkansas") and a few total gems from Ash's journal about hot actors in 1995. We'll just say that Legends of the Fall was preeetty influential. The Lips Phone is still down, but let us know your drag name or your rapper name by emailing us at [email protected], following us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

If there's one true thing about this podcast, it's that we ride hard for Gordon Lightfoot. And today is no different. No further explanation on that. Ash brought two gossips related to signs. That you stick in the ground. Not the signs from the Universe. And Lauren brought a gossip from a 12-year-old who literally asked her, "So, have you heard the latest?" Little Babe in training, tell us everything. *manicure emoji* Then they reveal last week's reviewed local business and Lauren reads the reviews of another one for you to guess. The hint is "pumpkin bread." The Babes do an animal-based personality quiz, and everyone wants to know what you picked! And finally, I Could Just Diary is back this week, with Lauren reading four randomly-selected middle school NOTES she has saved. And by some sort of magic, all four were written by the same friend whom Lauren referred to both as "a polo-shirt-buttoned-to-the-top band geek" AND "an Academic Beavis." The Lips Phone is still down, but let us know which three animals YOU are by emailing us at [email protected], following us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

HELLO. Surprise. We have returned for the fourth season of this nonsense!! Sorry we gave you little to no warning, but here we are. And we are giving you what so many of you requested--a public statement on the closing of Hearth. We give you a little update on what's been going on for the last year, and then we get RIGHT into it. We have two new segments--a local restaurant guess-who segment, and I Could Just Diary (we stole the name, shout out Knate & the prior Portsmouth event by the same name). In the first, one Babe will read reviews from a local restaurant and the other Babe has to guess which restaurant it is. We will not reveal until the following episode, so you will get to guess too! And in I Could Just Diary, one of us will share some greatest hits from our teenage diaries. This week, Ash shares a couple bangers from her disaffected 16-year-old brain. The Lips Phone is down, but let us know which restaurant has the hardest carrots by emailing us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Today the Babes cast pod with the boys of the Burst & Bloom Podcast--Dylan Metrano & Guy Capecelatro III--and it's a wild time! We miss you, we love you, and we hope you enjoy this weird & wooly crossover spectacular!! The Boys & the Babes listened to Burst & Bloom's 50th record label release, which is a cover album of songs written by bands on the label, covered by bands on the label (or bands associated with the label). There's music in this episode! And it's great! But there is ALSO gossip...even from the BOYS, including neighbor gossip (we know you love it), and all four of them watched the final Summer Flick: Psycho Beach Party! Enjoy! And if you have a podcast and want to do a crossover, call or text the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108 asap, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com.

Here is the bandcamp link so you can listen to and purchase the album!: https://burstandbloom.bandcamp.com/album/burst-bloom-50

And here's how you can listen to more Burst & Bloom Podcast eps!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/burst-bloom-podcast/id1722719344