Babe Patrol

Listen, Milo Ventimiglia is not 4'11", ok? The babes are joined today by producer, busybody, newspaper reader, and graduate student Steph George to talk about identity, crushes, and more. Have you ever had a crush that completely lobotomizes you and takes over your nervous system? Where do you feel a crush in your body? Have you ever actually dated someone you've had a completely brain-melting crush on? What's up with the brain-pelvis connection? They get deep into the Neptunian haze in this episode. Also there's a huge gossip story about an international school in Belize, and some updates on Lips Phone gossip. And finally, they introduce a new Round Robin style segment, The Hottest Things Ever. Spoiler alert--the forearms > the biceps.

Tell us the hottest thing someone can do, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-544-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com.

Thank you for GOSSIPING TO THE LIPS PHONE, busybodies, what a thrill. The Babes get their first Lips Phone local gossip tip in this episode & they squeal about it. Lauren gossips about a possible SWAMP MAN CONNECTION that is amazing and teaches Ash about "Lorem Ipsum." Ash gossips about Maine antifa & Blood Tribe & the Scold's Bridle. They break down their favorite Halloween candy and Lauren's "taxonomy of candy," they finally revisit the APPS, TikTok dewormer cleanses, whether Renny's or Marden's is better (Lauren has thoughts), and The Golden Bachelor. Plus, Lauren sets her dating age up a few decades and we see some real gems. How do you eat a KitKat, busybodies & malemen??

Tell us your favorite Halloween candy, small gossips, or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-944-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Do you pronounce "misled" as "m-eye-zelled" or "mis-led"? And why does no one make 100-year birthday swag?? Ash & Lauren contemplate these questions along with one for the ages: "what would you wear to my wedding?" They gossip about South Berwick's upcoming traffic light plans, a high school ex conundrum, and Lauren tells a hilariously harrowing story about her grandmother's 100 year birthday. They talk about arguing in public, easily the best palindrome ever, and a couple of middle names that make both of them laugh.

Grab your six pound dogs and your massage lotion, busybodies, because the Babes have the one, the only, the F*cking Mayor of Kittery on the mic today--Jacqueline Scott! Jaq joins Ash & Lauren to talk about dating all the same men, why the apps are a hellscape, and how to shoot your shot via email like a real Gen Xer. Content warning--they all tell their best stories of shitting themselves in this episode, but they give you a warning so you can fast-forward and so you don't have to wipe that (as they say) from your memory later. They talk traffic circle gossip, which honestly, in this neck of the woods is kinda crucial stuff, and Jaq shares a story that warms the cockles (as they say) of the heart. In short, granny's getting railed, and that's all we'll say about that right now. They scream, they laugh, they pee a little.
Tell us your small gossips or dating woes by calling or texting the Lips Phone at 207-944-9108, email us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.
Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

The Babes ARE BACK. We missed you, busybodies. Today Lauren shares with us why she lives by the coin, and dies by the coin, while Ash takes us on a history of dowsing & and shares an old dowsing romance. They tell some busybody date nightmare stories (thank you for sharing!), and a couple of dating nightmares of their own! Don't forget to damn the stream, busybodies!

Hellllooo busybodies! Did you miss us as much as we missed you? We hope so, because starting next Tuesday we will be back with a whole new season of gossip, dating nightmares, and lovely lovely guests.

Have gossip to share? Text or call the lips phone at 207-544-9108

Talk to us at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George: www.stephaniageorge.com

HELLO SURPRISE. Do you miss us? We miss youuu. Steph & Ashley pop into your feeds to cleanse your timelines, prod you about our survey, and deliver a couple of tiny gossips! Our hiatus continues....but not for TOO much longer. Love you all & hope you're surviving & thriving! As always, tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

It's the finale of Season One, and Steph is here with us to close out our gossipy, juicy, manic first season! We love all of you for being such staunch fans and true tea-spillers over these 32 weeks!!! In this final ep, Ashley downloads the Nextdoor app and finds a local thread dedicated to whether or not we answer our doors, prompting Steph to enthusiastically explain, "I LOVE answering the door!" However, not all locals agree, and at least one local pushes "the vegan agenda." Lauren, similarly, brings us some delightful updates from South Berwick online shenanigans, including plans for a South Berwick ANTHEM. PS--if anybody knows anything about the twisty slide that used to be at the Central School, we want to know about it. And Steph brings us a local story about the city of Portsmouth destroying the Love Locks!! Love is dead in Portsmouth! In true Babe Patrol fashion, and for the FIRST TIME this season, we did something screwy with the audio equipment & somehow cut out our green flags this week, so stay tuned for next season to find out what those maybe could have been! We also discuss hard launches vs soft launches, the perils of Disney adults, spelling our names differently in middle school (is this a canon event?), and Rodney Dangerfield. Though this is our season finale, we plan to see you soon!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.
Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

It's our penultimate, next-to-last season one episode, busybodies, and yes, we're gossiping about the orcas. Lauren does a deep dive (so to speak) about our fave aquatic communists. Did you know they're dolphins, not whales?? And Ashley continues with her fave rin tin tin chapeau discussions with an explainer about the David Grusch alien whistleblower claims. The babes discuss the importance of the Crush Nickname, a TikTokker who finally discovers Ashley's "boundary of prude," and the perils of talking about sex with a partner. Notable tangents include Fresca. the time they ACTUALLY left for the sale this week (we know you were on tenterhooks about this detail), Lauren's current blood feud with a groundhog, and Ashley's first boba. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.
Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com
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