Babe Patrol

It's tin hat time again on Babe Patrol! Ashley takes us through some of the many conspiracy theories surrounding the Denver Airport. It's a veritable "cornucopia of weird," especially the story of "Blucifer." And Lauren brings us a busybody-provided gossip about a lie taken to the grave!!! The Babes discuss the seasonality of dating--which season is your best season, anyway? And how do you feel about cuffing season? The Big Lebowski makes its entrance into their flags this week as well, so tune in. Tangents include: Orbitz, a detailed discussion of Ashley & Lauren's travel plans (sorry), arthritis, the mating habits of gargoyles, and Ashley introduces the concept of "Sugar Babies" to Lauren. Reminder that this is the next-to-last episode of Season One!!! As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Today we've got a tale of George Clooney & double-sized raccoons. Lauren & Ashley discuss red and green flag pets when it comes to dating, they dip back into the Meyers-Briggs test, and Lauren begins her manifesto about the middle lane on the highway. Notable tangents include their absolute worst sunburns (including the ones they got together on a foggy morning), detailing their cars, Bunnicula, and memorable hate-filled feral cats as pets. Ashley attempts a new busybody-requested Just the Tip, but honestly, considering her social skills aren't top notch, this Tip is pretty mid. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

What kind of animal would you want to be a zookeeper for? Lauren says capybaras. Ashley wants something slow and docile. Or a crocodile. Today on the pod, the babes gossip about Princess Anne's foiled kidnapping attempt in which they use the word "ALLEGEDLY" a lot, and Lauren brings Ashley some workplace drama from the ZOO. A quick correction: the royal insignia was only on ONE side of the limo, fyi. They have an in-depth discussion of how and when they swipe, and talk about the time a busybody tried to hit Ashley with her car. ICONIC. Ashley puts the local Starbucks on blast, acts like a fool, and then realized, when listening back to this episode, that she sounds like she is on speed because LIKELY the re-made Americano was not decaf!!! You'll understand once you listen. Enjoy Lauren's description of "shopping for men," and the movies that make the babes cry. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

First off, THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS ARE NOT ON THE BIG CHILL SOUNDTRACK. Ashley issues this formal apology. Otherwise, this episode is chock-a-block full of gossips, both local and national. The Coronation, the Meghan/Harry car chase, Taylor Swift's new rat boy boyfriend, a fire at the Days Inn in Kittery, the Elizabeth Holmes NYT profile, a SoBo parrot update, an "active glass situation" at Whole Foods, and the South Berwick mystery of "The Boom." They talk about the meaning of foods in dating profiles, their love of short kings, and the scent of milkweed. Did you know coffee milk is the state beverage of Rhode Island? And is the number 42 more kiki or bouba? And finally, they exalt folks who are active listeners. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Who would you want to play you in the movie of your life? Lauren contemplates this question in today's episode. She also delivers a "flight of workplace gossips," at least one of which will nearly kill you. Cringe City, USA, Population: Us. Ashley shares two newsworthy gossips, including the NJ Pasta Incident, which many of you requested, and an orgasm at the opera house. They rant about feminism (as usual), people who call their OWN banter witty, and both rant at AND celebrate men who call themselves feminists. They discuss a dating prompt answer that unveils a little AI/bot situation. Notable tangents include: Gene Simmons, Ashley's mature crush on Toby Ziegler, texting misfires, and what games they will and will not accept when dating. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

WE MADE 25 EPISODES. This episode is loose, busybodies, so prepare for some tangents. But first, Ashley brings us a small gossip about a legacy chiropractor beauty queen. And Lauren tells us ALL about a sperm donor who can't stop donating in a story we've called "The Deported Inseminators." They view a pro-gun profile of a dude Lauren describes as "alt-right meets Morrissey," and Lauren's profile view this week sparks a meaty discussion about worth ethic, labor rights, and a quote we THOUGHT was from James Baldwin, but wasn't. Flags include gifs and embellished jeans, vegetables and sex talk. Tangents include our multi-watch comfort movies, the Practical Magic house, beige foods, Gap scents from the 90s, and we return to Lauren's favorite new segment: Just the Tip. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

Lauren and Ashley are back to gossip (as usual), and this week Ashley is satiating her naked curiosity about Cedar Waters nudist park in Nottingham. Lauren brings us back to the South Berwick Facebook page for some hilarious updates--the stick section of the South Berwick dump is closed, by the way. They perform an impromptu play of some Tinder DMs, and Lauren has Ashley play a round of "Guess the Zodiac Sign." Notable tangents include the beauty and desolation of the desert (Lauren describes a section of New Mexico as "nothing but yucca plants, skinny cows, and border patrol"), the arcade, westerns, the Lee traffic circle, and whether Tom Brady belongs on your dating profile. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.
Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com
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Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

The babes pre-apologize for talking about sex books this week and the ensuing giggles. They ask the hard-hitting questions--WHO is going to write us the x-rated rom com of our dreams??? They gossip this week about another MLM workplace nightmare--what is UP with supplement MLMs, anyway? And Lauren brings you some steamy gossip about The Villages, the Shangri-La of retirement communities. Ashley swipes on Lauren's Hinge profile again, they enter another Virgo man into the current pantheon, and Ashley offers another red flag that kind of flags herself. They also debut their newest segment: "Just the Tip." Tangents include pinball, the aforementioned sexy books, and Ashley freaks out that Lauren hates When Harry Met Sally. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com

"It's not gross, it's ROMANTIC." --overheard from a 10 year old at a birthday party Lauren went to this week. The Podmother--Babe Patrol's new rainbow sound board took her maiden voyage this week, and the Babes sound like VELVET LOVERS, so enjoy. They gossip about a busybody who sold some broccoli pills through an influencer/MLM situation and there is a cult tie-in!! They also gossip about the absolute horrors of urine flipping, and remineralization. A possible Russian spy swipes by, the phrase "mathematician at cryptocurrency" shows up, and Lauren makes a strong case against utilikilts. Tangents include Oprah & Steven Tyler in the woods, and other podcasts we love. As always, visual aids, supporting documents, & Top Secret files are on our IG feed. Tell us your small gossips or dating woes at [email protected], follow us on Instagram & TikTok @babepatrolpod, and on Patreon at patreon.com/babepatrolpod.

Production by Steph George of Stephania Audio: www.stephaniageorge.com